happy days..

have not been blogging for some days...
got lotsa things happened..
i dun wish to say the unhappy stuff...
so it shall be a happy blog!!!

trying to get myself follow the routine work...travel, study, back home, go library...
well, i quite like this way of life as i am able to TRAVEL!!!
and i love the new library..haha..

today is kind of boring...
i nid to reach school by 11.30am...
den i'll have 3 lessons of lectures and that's all..
so i will end my lesson at 2.30pm..
dun think my timetable is good k..
it's just that i have my tutorial starting in week 3....yes..
so i can rot abit at the present moment, but of course, nid to start doing my tutorials lar..

i will be going for NYJC prom nite dis yr...
sounds weird, coz i graduated 2 yrs ago..haha..
well, since i've never been to a prom nite before at all...
this is a good chance to see see...
obviously i wun purposely dress myself up, coz this is not my prom...
i just go there to help out and see the overall thingy..
in another words, KPO!!!

went to NYJC last week...and tell you, it is super nice lor..
juz think of my yrs in ny...my goodness...y aren't there such facilities den...sigh~
it is really nice as the whole reconstruction has completed...wow..
too bad i nv bring a camera there..
if not can take some photos..haha..
but i felt so out-of-place there...y??
coz i'm not wearing ny uniform ma...den everyone kept staring at me..
*blush and awkward*

went to toa payoh last sunday..
saw many things that i wanna buy...
but must control...hehe..
we had pizza for dinner...and not forgetting the spicy drumlets (he treated me)...*yummy*
den we went search for contact lens...hoho...

den went bugis yesterday...
had my dinner with alfred..i treated him dis time...haha..to bu chang..
den we went popular (bras basah), coz there got discount..so went to take a look..
supposed to go library for my study, but sua ku me, dun realise that library closes at 9pm
so when i juz sat down there, the announcement made, "The library is closing in 15mins time...pls....(eh, i forget what she said after tt..haha)"
den we went walk walk before we went home..haha..

oh, alfred's jc classmates are having bbq dis saturday..at punggol park (such a weird place and far too)
and i'm invited...hehe..hmm, let me think of things to bring...
and now, i nid to prepare to go le...
coz i nid time to travel to school...
i love taking 199...
i love the new library...
i love to travel...
i love my present life...

p/s: i'll try to arrange a day to meet up with wen dis week ba...coz i want to see her too..hehe..

if he noes how tough NS is den, he wun do dis action...btw, the one on the left is him..beside him is his brother...  

his grandma and him..i like this pic most..coz i love his smile...hardly see dis smile on his face now...(what a pity)  

naughty boy...noe which one is he?? (*hint* white singlet and the dunno-blue-or-green shorts) 

cute cute... 

i am the boss..hahaha..this one looks more like him now.. 

do u believe that dis is alfred?? 

muscles aching

my arms' muscles are aching..
have problem moving my arms..
too long nv exercise le..hehe..juz carry a few things, here ache there ache..
but it is no big deal lar..i'm not 千金小姐 what..

i'm so bored today...
stayed at home and rot...
all i did is to scan photos into my comp and try to upload...
shall post some of them later..hehe..
den can show u guys the cute boy aka alfred...

my sisters are not back yet...sigh~
shall go print my notes first...
supposed to ask yanxin to accompany me to the new library today..
but mama ordered her to stay at home and practise piano, coz her practical exam is coming soon.
so, no more library trip today...

alfred called me twice today in the afternoon..
i tot wat big problem there is....he called juz to chat..*ah bish*
heard a shocking news from him..
but i can't say it...coz alfred said so...*zip my mouth*
i noe i have big mouth..haha..
but when it comes to secret or wad, i can be really tight k..

tmr dun feel like going to school...
one computing lesson at 12.30pm and one maths lesson at 4.30pm..
hmm, all repeated subjects..should i go??
suan le...think i stay at home better..meaning i pon??
alfred is going to hit my head if he sees it..
let me slack for dis week k..*innocent smile*
i noe i will be reprimanded when put on that stupid smile..but who cares??
i like leh..

hope i have a good day tomorrow.
miss my dear alot, but i can't see him tomorrow..
coz he will be busy with his work.
hmm, nvm ba..
i just hope i can stay at home and do my work can le...
if not, i'll run to the nearest starbucks to squart...hahaha

so long nv see my 3 babez (i think it sounded better than F4 *nod nod*) le..
wonder when i can see them??
should hurry before wen starts her school (8/8)
but yu wun be free, unless it is weekend..
eh, our KTV how??
our visit to wen's hse how??
*scratch head*

yeah, yanning has finally come back...
i end here le..
i feel like i'm the youngest sister, though i'm the oldest actually..ahem..

Safe in a crazy world

song by Corrinne May.

I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me

It feels like nothing is for certain
And that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the
Theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you
You craddle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
To believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
To believe in me again


very nice rite? and i think it is rather meaningful...dedicated to my dearest dear, alfred...

arms are tired

did alot of things today..
finally subscribed my broadband..
got lotsa freebies *gian beng face (hokkien)*...like the laptop bag with "singtel" logo on *sacastic smile*, warcraft cd (like got any use to me..more for my sister ba), a poster and RHS vouchers (finally something useful le..)
den the stupid add/ drop thingy, waste of time...
i can't even add my subject..
have to wait for the coordinator to squeeze out a space for me again..
den dun really have my lunch coz i juz grabbed some cakes to prevent gastric..
rushed to mit huiyi to get MY BAG!!! *fascinated* oh, and my book as well..
rushed here and there...
tired...
but the lecturers are more interesting now...
got a korean lecturer, so powerful in English..but really enjoyed in the lect..hehe
btw, it's a SHE k...
den my hands are full of stuff...(the singnet bags, my laptop, my op bag and my own school bag..)
so my friends and i decided to pon the last lecture...for me, i can go home faster and throw my loads. and for my friends, they can go for their chalet at Changi..*envy*
i have to be clumsy while boarding and alighting bus and MRT..
anyway, i've xia suay (hokkien) so many times le..haha..dis is nothing man..
felt so relaxed now..coz no more loads le..

yesterday had BILLY BOMERS with alfred for dinner...
and he got some things for me...his childhood photos and the cd by Corrinne May..
*surprised but angry*
coz i dun want him to waste money..
though i really like the cd v much..
oh, his phone has spoilt...hai~
most prob died of negligence and torment..hehe..
well, dunno what phone he is gonna buy le..
hmm, den we went home..

had been staring at his old photos for the whole night yesterday...
maybe put it as my laptop's wallpaper nx time..haha..
trying to scan in the photos first...
from my speed...think needs a long time..haha..

i'm hungry now...
waiting for my dinner.
tomorrow no school...yippee!!
most prob going national library tmr..to walk walk and see see...
but think have to stay at home and rot..sigh~
well, i want my food now...(starving badly)

first day of school

woke up at about 7am dis morning..
dragged my feet to the bathroom and get myself prepared for school
den, i had my lousy breakfast before i rush off for my train..
i saw people fighting for seats and spaces in the MRT
and of course, i'm one of them..haha..
finally have some "personal space" after the the two ever-crowded stops (Cityhall and Raffles Place)
felt tired as i've not been waking up early since dunno when.

it's a rather free day..
have been queuing up for notes, PRF and lab manuals..
still feel that NTU's system is bad.
attended two lectures just now and now, i'm stucked..
coz i have another lecture at 3.30pm..
so i'm very free now..
rotting in the Lee Wee Nam Library..haha..

later meeting alfred for dinner..
in my mind => Hooray!!! so happy
expression on my face => orh...can't-be-bothered look..
hope he will be happy today.
coz i'm really putting in effort to make him smile more...
well, 2hrs and 42mins more before i can see him...why so long??

ok, got alot of stuff to print and do..
tutorials!!!!
sigh~
nid more time to get myself settled down and organised..
i'm thinking of bringing my laptop everyday to school..
so that i can download all the lecture notes and tutorials..
and so that i dun have to get frustrated with my haywired internet access at home..
hmm...good idea!!

continue to rot...haha..
lalalalalala......

school starting tomorrow..

is alfred coming to pick me up tomorrow??
since he nids to go tuas..
anyway, i hope he will msg me tomorrow and say he will..*hint hint*

i nid to start to pack my bag later...
bag???
i forget to buy my backpack..sigh~
how forgetful i am..
nid to thanx huiyi...
she is helping me to buy the op bag that i think it is very nice (but no guarantee she can get)..
though ppl may think i'll look kiddy with that..
but i think it is very nice lor...
thanx so much man..
well, what bag should i use tomorrow?

nid to prepare money to return jiaquan tmr...
nid to bring my textbook too...
ok, nid to go write down the location for tutorials and the lectures..

i love Corrinne May's voice...
so powerful and clear...
maybe i'll go get her cd..

my sisters are busy today...
can't go library coz my parents are busy with work..
juz finished doing housework..
what should i do now??
watch tv ba..
no, go pack my bag...
at the same time, waiting for alfred's call...hehe..
alright, i nid to go le..

sleepy eyes

i have not slept since last night till now..
had a very bad dinner yesterday nite..
we went for steamboat (天天火锅), and waited for abt 1hr to get place to sit when the person-in-charged says 10mins..
there are so many food on the list, but what they have that day is oni abit..
a horrible dinner, not going back to eat again..
we were both very full..
and i have difficulty sleeping..

stared into space thru the night..
think of many things...
i cried cos i felt suffocated with my life..
i'm very tired, but i can't sleep..
i've made a decision, but have no guts to say it..
i'm v disappointed with myself for not being able to take control of my own life..
i'm v sad with how someone actually look at me..
i'm too tired to think..
i'll end everything eventually..
i believe to everything, there is a season...when there is a start, there will be an end..

juz now went searching for hair salon for my sister..
coz she is very fussy, want cheap and good haircut...
how is that possible??
watever it is, i managed to force her into one..
and i just left her there and walked back alone...
hope she noes how to come home..
duh..

tomorrow is my last day of holiday..
sigh~~~~
school starting very very soon..
well, at least i'm back to my routined normal life ba...
oh, national library has opened...
hmm, gonna go there tomorrow, hopefully with yanxin..
it will be my potential slacking and enjoying air-con studying place.
i nid conducive environment to study well, to make myself enjoy the boring loads more.

i feel sick suddenly.
pre-school-reopen sickness??
eat too full yesterday??
lack of sleep??
so many possibilities..
but i'm feeling sick...sick of life, sick mentally and physically..
bla bla bla..

enjoy ur last day of holiday...if u were like me...haha.. ;P

i nid to get settled down..

juz realised that i only have 3 more days to school reopen..arghhh..
i have not finished my revision..or should i say, i have not start yet?? *oopz*
will i be able to do at least 2 chapters 1st, so that i will have lesser work when school starts?hmm..
btw, thanx jiaquan for helping me to buy the lab coat in advance, coz it will be more difficult if i buy when school starts...things like out-of-stock (dreaded) may happen..well, just to play safe..
and thanx huiyi for informing me that the add/ drop period is dis saturday, 10am.
so, i'll have to meet up with huiyi and him on the first day of school..oh, jeffrey as well...
ok, looks like i am running out of time..

tomorrow have to meet alfred again...
i'll have to go search for goods for his work..
got any recommendation where i can get cheap goods (things like colour pencils, pencil cases, etc. those very cheap ones, but look presentable.)??
hope it will be a fruitful trip.

juz now helped my parents carry goods again. looks like i'm gonna have big muscles soon..haha..well, juz take it as a form of exercise ba. =)
no doubt, i slipped away and came back home to slack..hehe..such a terrible worker, like me. =P

really have to get settled down le..but not now yet..dis sat?? sunday??
haha...excuses..trying to delay..
MONDAY LAR....ok, set...

oh, yanning is having her piano ensemble concert dis fri..which is tomorrow!!!
i'm not going though, coz i will be busy..
yanxin and her friends will be there to support her..
wish her all the best!!
also, hope that her ticket sale is good..

to those interested (though quite last minute) :

VJC Piano Ensemble Concert
date: 22 jul 2005 (fri)
time: 7.30pm
ticket price: $8 (free seating)
venue: VJC Performance Theatre

remark: Eunice Olsen will be there as a guest performer..

phew~

he finally called!!!
he booked out late...
stupid me...worried for nothing...haha

i'm weird..
i can be subconscious and yet daydreaming...
had a weird "daydream" at abt 5am dis morn and slept unknowingly after tt.
"dreamt" of someone...
and the first feeling is fear...
i dunno why?
but i hope it will always remain as a "dream"..

weird mind...haha..
well, i've waited for dis boy boy to come online..
he asked me to wait
and yet, till now,
he is nowhere to be seen...
What The Hell (Wong Teck Huang, get it?? hehe...i'm revealing ur secret to the world..)
where are you??

i'm hungry now..
not gonna wait in vain..
i nid to go for my "yummy" dinner le..haha..
ok, before that
i have to wake my sis up...
why always me???

where is alfred???

i've told him to message me once he got home and i thought he is supposed to book out by now??
but he nv reply me!!!!
and his handphone is in off mode.
where is he??
dun tell me he has to stay in suddenly,which is very rare coz it has never happened before...
hai~

just helped my mum do some packing and stuff.
and now, i think they nid my help..
but i juz came back home without telling them...
coz i'm worried about fred..
where is he??

i hope he will msg me as soon as he saw his msg..as soon as he on his phone...
i'm worried...

my cute boy boy..

yesterday went to many places with alfred.
went orchard...den bugis...den his house...den tampines.
he was very abnormal yesterday, coz he is trying to act cute..can't really stand him.
also, he showed me his childhood photos...a very naughty boy indeed...nv sit still..haha..but really very cute.
i told him that he had nv changed at all.
till now, still so playful...naughty boy...
well, he always says i'm naughty gal..haha..ok, so tt's y we can stand each other.
oh, he promised to give me one of his cute photos... ;p
and his famous sayings, "you muz guai1 guai1 when i'm not around arh..." coz he always says i dunno how to take care of myself, but he is worse lor..
ok, enough of that..

today is totally sian...
coz i'll be rotting at home..hmm...
and alfred will be very busy today..so can't disturb him...

school is starting soon...school is starting soon!!!! hav to say it again and again...
scared i'll forget
scared i'll panic once i forget to remind myself..

learnt a lesson again:
open my heart to a greater extent..
do not let small little things affect your mood..
to be able to let go is a step nearer to become a better person..

i want to give a change to my character...(though i've changed alot, but tt's not enuf)
restructure my temper...hehe..
well, see how much i can do...i promise i will do it.. =)

alfred noes that when it comes to the word "promise", it means we hav to achieve it no matter what..
he can do it, so can i...
and it makes dis word holds a stronger weightage now than before...

what should i do today??
boring day...sigh~
my cute boy boy hasn't booked out yet...
and he is busy today..
hmmm

busy busy busy..

yesterday was supposed to be a day where i can slack at home and rot..but, there is dis sudden call from yu...tt i must rushed to NTU..so, being puzzled and awkward, i went to NTU to see what on earth is going on with rol...well, the rest of the story i dun hav to say le...coz it is a long process...but, it shows how much we cared for each other...haha..but i find myself abit silly..travel all the way to NTU without knowing exactly what is going on..hmm, nvm lar...yu has explained everything along the way..so got a rough catch what is happening..haha..well, a good dinner (or is it supper??)..but hav to rush home and do my explanation, coz i rush out without telling my parents the reason...ok lar, everything should be in place by now...

later meeting alfred....going orchard to buy shoes and den go for haircut...den meet ppl...well, busy day...not in the mood to talk about alfred now...though actually i have alot of things to say about him...nvm...hope he has reached home le..coz he nv msged me to tell me he has reached home or wad...wateva the case is...there is some communication problem between us..and i'm sick of saying...yar..

ok, dad called and ask me to do work le...got to go now...

busy day...busy..busy... =\

feelings??

yar, my feelings...i can't find a word to describe my feelings now. i miss fred so much!! there is no words that can describe the intensity in me...haha..

i can't wait to see him tomorrow...we gonna have our haircut together...hehe..hope everything will turn out to be fine..haha..

school is starting soon!!! have been telling myself almost everyday..haha..and of course, that is when my stress level starts to increase..can teach me how to curb dis fear? can't picture it as a beautiful scene in my mind..haha..why huh? whatever the reason is, i wish i can sail through dis journey smoothly...

Mood: happy, anticipating and worried...

mixed, mixed....all mixed...feeling terrible..

oh, i still nid to go apply my concession soon...shall do it later...if not, i'll drag till dunno when..now feeling so hungry..though i ate my breakfast, my stomach isn't satisfied..my mum wants me to vacuum the whole house today, ALONE!! sigh~ feel abit lazy to do all these..hmm, at least after i gained my energy first ba..ok, i'm running out of ideas to write le..not thinkin clearly oso..haha..dunno why..end here ba..

thirteen weeks will pass very fast..and dec hols will come again..haha..but meanwhile, i will need to study first...*ah choooo*...oh no, dusty dusty...or izit my immune system is going down slope??

legs are tired...but enjoy shopping with my sisters..

went orchard with my sis to buy heels for her concert..though it looks quite weird on her, but at least the shoes look nice ba..haha..shall ask alfred for some comments next time..den on our way home, i saw Denise Lim..he is in air force now...going NUS nx yr..never really tok much coz he has to alight a few stops later...which is actually one stop before mine..haha..

miss alfred so much though i just saw him yesterday..tokkin about yesterday, it is a very very bad day...so many things can't accomplished and we were so fed up..and somehow we quarrelled. i made him feel so sad..and when i reached home, i got scolded by my mum, for wat reason, i not very sure oso..and we never enjoyed the day at all..

miss alfred so much today..have not have time to tok to him for so long..really wanna find a day to tok to him, about anything oso can...but time is a crucial factor..it seems like he is very busy with his work, so busy that we hardly have time to even tok to each other for long..coz he is tired..and school is starting soon, i dun think i have time for him too...sigh~ what should i do?

well, all i can do is to wait...wait for my birthday??haha..or wait for dec hols.......it's a long long way to go..nvm lar, must learn to understand him..i will...i promised..

and my dear friends, when can we meet again before school starts??nx fri nite??nx sat??well, i'll go ask again..hehe..must see if yu can stay overnite at wen's house, and if wen can let us stay...so many things to do..lalala..ok, end here ba..i'm still quite sad over wat happens yesterday..nid time to recover...

*sob sob*

going pinic tomorrow...

i'm really tired today...start helping my dad at about 9am and juz ended my work..phew..eyes closing..haha..anyway, i seems to enjoy my work more and more..coz i actually dun really nid to do anything unless my dad or mum wanted me to..so i can sit down there and do my own work. Business usually looks dry and untouchable to me, but not now anymore..it becomes more and more fun!! coz it requires lotsa thinking..hehe..and i like to think alot, so somehow quite enjoy in it..but of course, obstacles are sure to be around..to overcome them is a greater achievement..haha..

tmr i can finally go out with alfred for the whole day..haha..he is preparing sandwiches and drinks...and me?? nothing..i wanted to bring some stuff, but he insisted on bringing and i just go there to relax..oh dear, i'm feeling uneasy when i'm not involved in the organising part..hmm..dunno about him lar..i think it will be an enjoyable one, but provided it doesn't rain, you see..

oh, i've prepared for school reopen le..feeling quite relaxed and of course, waiting for it to start...though not anticipating it..haha..timetable also done le...oni left with that no vancacy subject..nid to call up the school again..leave it till school reopen..can't possibly do anything at this moment also..

as for my hair, i think i will not cut it at the present moment...i want it to be long...haha..so long that i can't stand it le, den i will think of cutting it short..hehe..still prefer short hair, coz i think my neck will have a lesser burden..also, dry faster...easy to keep..but, i nid to keep my hair long, coz i promised myself that i will keep until it reached a desired length..and long hair is easier to style...ok, whatever...stop talking about my hair..so bo liao..

waiting for alfred's message, esp. now when he is in camp for duty...he is almost unreachable..nvm, he will call me when he is free and saw his msgs..haha..ok, watch show now..

dusty dusty...*cough cough*

sweaty day, but happy coz i'm doing something fruitful today...does that means that i'm wasting my time all along??hmm....shall go ponder abt it..hehe..

my house had a minor renovation today...coz of the windows thingy..and after that, my mum ordered me to clean up my place so that i can have a conducive environment to study..well prepared for the school reopen...hehe..alrite, where was i? oh, the whole house is dusty and sandy..also, pricky..haha..den have to clear up the mess...my poor super sensitive nose, kept sneezing non-stop. now, my nose is red.

rol msged me said that she was near my hse just now...but i'm busy clearing up the mess, so nv really reply her...felt so bad...hope she wun mind..must i really wait till school reopen den can go wen's house to torn?? i really no mood by then leh, coz my tutorials start in 1st week, not 2nd...hmm, how about nx week??? but rol can't...hai~ y not tmr??haha...*crazy* dunno what i'm saying oso..

alfred will be calling me later...haha..so happy..but that's because i wanted him to...yar, i'm a mean gal...i noe...anyway, i will learn how to juggle well between study, relationship and work..hehe..i'll nid to train myself.. =)

i'm bored...coz no one at home to tok to me...oni can face my computer and watch my tv..life is boring without my sisters, friends and ALFRED!!

ok, i nid to go bathe now..feeling so stinky and sticky...wat else?? sweaty...haha...

i like the feeling after sadness

just had a great dinner with the three wonderful gals that come across my life...really wanna thank them for all the happy and sad moments...hehe..i'm still very full now, but yu like forever very hungry when she ate so much..they are the ones that make me forget all misery..sounds like they are very great, but it is their small little actions that make me feel happy, coz they are so natural...yup yup...still waiting for another round of meet up...must torn at wen's house dis time round, and blast her karaoke room with our "melodious" voices..haha..

oh no, school has been emailing me dese few days...or should i say, i forget to check my mails?? that's y it is somehow.........flooded!! btw, it also reminds me that school is starting soon...sigh..abit sian, coz i haven enjoyed my life enuf yet...nvm, i always have dis feelings...so dun bother about me..got quite alot of things to do before everything really starts...just found out that there is no more vacancy for MS2003...god...again?? hate doing all the subject reg stuff..always give me lotsa problems...sigh..nvm, life's like that...

ok back to main topic.
i was helping my dad the whole afternoon with his work..and i even accompany him to look for a shop that he wanna rent...den can also help alfred see see..the location and room size are quite good...the price is quite reasonable to me lar, but dunno about alfred...shall bring him over to go see nx time..i love working, i mean for my dad, for alfred...yar...coz it is always enjoyable..but, i'm not much help oso..hehe..anyway, i will make myself more useful by keeping quiet and speak when i'm supposed to..hmm, agree...

fred is still busy discussing with xianwei..hmm...shall not disturb them..just remember to go home early, for xw, and rest early for fred..always dunno their limits...hai..that's guys..hope xw wun think that i'm snatching his portion...hehe..

i'm feeling so happy now...please dun let dis happiness ends...thanx!! =)

rusty fingers

i've not played piano for about 2yrs?? yar..somewhere around there..and yesterday night my sister suddenly wanted to play that piece, "Marche Militaire", with me..obviously there are some notes i can't possibly catch..hehe..those who noe the song should noe why...btw, we took turns to play the accompaniment...but my fingers were really rusty le...nid to have more practices..

quite happy that i maybe going for dis yr's ny prom night...i have never been for one before..but dis time round, going as an extra to oversee everything...hehe..hope the whole plan for the day is a successful one..

later, i'm meeting wen and rol first before meeting yu coz i ask them to...haha..actually my anger has gone, but still, i have told them to meet up earlier..hehe...great friends huh. oh no, should i eat at Lau Pa Sat later??i can't resist good food..haha..well, maybe ba..alright..i will go think about it first..

dis sat, i will be going out with fred..to beach for a "picnic"..haha..he said dis time he is going to make the sandwiches instead..ok, i noe mine sucks...*nod nod* but i hope the weather will be fine...dun rain please, coz everytime i go pasir ris park, it will rain...dunno why also...btw, we haven thought of which beach to go...how can i assume it is pasir ris?? later if it is east coast how?? alright, that's the problem with people like me....sigh~ den sunday, andrew will have him..see, we actually come to a point whereby i nid to share my boyfriend with a guy??!!?! well, the actual story is they are supposed to be together, and i broke them up..haha..oopz! whatever it is..

so today is andrew's turn to have him...hope the meeting is a successful one..GOOD LUCK!! hehe..

i miss ny choir...wanna sing...sing...sing...i like the flowers...i like the daffodils...i like mountains..i like the green hills..i like the cornerstones..i like to walk alone..do wap a do wap a do wap a do...hehe..fun!! though it isn't a correct warm up training..it is just a song to let the members enjoy..hehe..but i think i've "disconnected" for too long...hehe..nvm, i also dunno how..

oh no, i haven have my breakfast...i'm becoming more and more forgetful..ok, my stomach is demanding me to go have something....hehe..

happened to read dis blog...maybe it's god's effort or wad...after reading dis entire blog right from the first day till now, i felt very sad for dis person and also, angry...*sob*

not that everything turns out so right like what people think...yar, people can be myopic with what they see...and they can oni see what is it that is happening now and not the PROCESS!! the outcome wun come out just lidat without any hardwork..life is fair...very fair...it gives you something, at the same time, it will also take something away from you..people do always want the best, but what is the best??does it mean that if someone always put on a happy smile on his face, like alfred, he is very carefree?? no, obviously! i'm pity for that person, as he/she did not know what is love...yup...sigh~

as for me, i noe i'm not a good girlfriend,coz i'm demanding,very dependent and bla bla bla...selfish as ppl might say...true, i am...but it is even more true that i'm changing to be a better one..i hope i can..ever since a failed relnship in the past, i've told myself i wun want the history to repeat itself...i even come to a point whereby i shall not start a relnship again, coz i will always hurt that person..well, i really think that alfred is a gift from god..coz no one can ever tolerate my temper...until i found him, the changed him...i have never felt so secure before, and who will understand how much stress i nid to face at home, how much burden i nid to carry, how much responsibilities i nid to take for my entire life till now??who will understand? you may think that i'm just trying to make myself sound pitiful..ok, go ahead...as no one will ever understand other than my three bestest friends...even them, they may not see it in my shoe.

so, it isn't me or him that cause so much unhappiness to other people's life..and i, with my integrity, says that we do spare a thought for others..do try our best to help others..however, what is the real reason due to the breakup or wadsoever, it is oni that person who will know... =)

i'm very direct with words..not trying to say anything to harm anyone..but, i nid to let you people noe the truths and not the ASSUMPTIONS...

glad that everything has changed to a brighter side...what is done cannot be undone...but do live well, life is not just about love...it is much more...and for me, i will do my best to protect my family, friends and Alfred, of course...things may change and no longer what it is, but i'm still who i am...and no matter what obstacles are ahead, i will walk through with my conscious clear, and hand in hand with my family, friends and Alfred..

alright, i'm still having a happy mood afterall....envy eyes are around..haha..ok, i nid to go help my dad do stuff le...bye!

i finally got my bag...but not the big one..

got an adidas bag..small one..coz i saw it while buying my friend's present..and i quite like it..hehe..so decide to get it..

nothing much to say about today just that i went out with alfred...and he finally got his top...yeah...mission accomplished...haha..den we went walking around TM and Century Square...wanted to walk into Storm, but hesitated..coz i am not prepared to have my hair cut yet..dunno want it to be short or just trim it...hai~..well, eventually, i decide not to cut it...i'll go cut with my sis instead ba..

we went to watch "War of the Worlds", it is a very sad story...actually i watched coz i heard from Agnes that it is nice...yar, it is indeed very nice, oni the ending abit sudden..nice story...and must really thanx the bacteria and virus for saving our human race..haha..wanna noe y? go watch lar..our day ended quite fast, coz alfred nids to rush home..i'm quite disappointed when i heard him say that...coz we hardly can go out together..but must be understanding also..yar..he promised me he will bring me to beach dis sat..yeah..and we are prepared for our Dec hols programme.. =)

today my yanxin cooked macaroni with cheeze, fruits with choc dip and pudding...sounded yummy, but they were not..haha..when yanning and i try for the first time, each food takes us 5 sec to react...as in to say," oh, it is nice.." coz the initial taste is quite horrible..haha..oopz!! but appreciated her effort lar...keep it up k..

i'm ok, finally...haha..stupid sore throat has been bothering me for so long..but den, the phlegm is still stucking in my respitory system...irritating...ok, gonna go Lau Pa Sat dis wed with my three friends..hmm, dunno if i can eat anything by then..but better not, dun wanna kena sore throat again..haha..ok, shall see how first...

alright, my sis demanded me to help her fix her blog...yar..ok, ends here...

p/s: thanx alfred!! thou the day was short, i'm very happy...hehe..

very tired with slight sore throat..

never slept a wink yesterday nite...coz we chatted for the whole nite...oh, btw, i stayed overnite at the chalet..it was an enjoyable tok as we like never meet for quite some time le..it is different between tokkin to your primary school friends and other friends..duno why...but we never left anyone out in the conversation..haha..and i'm quite surprised that we are able to keep in contact for so long..nx year, it is our 10 year anniversary...haha..shall celebrate for our longlasting friendships...oh yar, den after that, Agnes drove us around with her family car...quite fun...though we are actually travelling from one end to the other at East Coast oni...

den at around 5am, we went for our breakfast at my house nearby...coz many places were not opened den...haha...we had "lor mee"...quite nice lar...den when i reached home, it was like 6.30am..had a bath, coz i had not been bathing for the whole night..feel so sticky...haha..den i went into dreamland...slept for like 4 hours...den woke up coz my sister's stupid friend called and no one picked up the phone...

feel like everything is a dream...haha...but have a slight sore throat...feel abit tired still, but ok lar..coz i'm not meeting anyone lor...alfred is busy ma...sigh~...must learn to be understanding, u see...so must not disturb him for the day.. =) hope he has a great day...haha...really can't meet up arh?? *hint hint*....ok, better get that mentality off my mind...haha..maybe i'm too tired, so start to tok rubbish now...haha..

feel like bathing again, coz i still feel abit sticky as Singapore is getting warmer and warmer..can't really stand the weather...even at night lor..well, i'm too tired to think le lar..will blog next time..*yawn*

gonna go chalet later...

sudden change of plan...my friends suddenly all wanna go chalet...but i can at least have some gathering with my primary school friends...

meeting chien kit and lee hong at 6pm...coz we gonna buy present for ruifen for her belated birthday..really very belated, hope she wun mind...den we will meet agnes before we go east coast together...not staying overnight though...hmm, still thinkin of what to buy for her..let kit go crack his brain ba..shall enjoy myself today..haha..

hope it will be an enjoyable one... =)

crystal jade is good...but not filling..

yesterday treated alfred with crystal jade, the one at bugis one...with a mixture of Macau's style. it was indeed very nice, but the portion given is quite little..hehe..i still prefer the traditional style...hehe...but good that alfred enjoyed his dinner...coz i promised to treat him a meal when i got my pay..but for the nx two days, i wun be able to see him..well, i want him to accompany me to go cut hair and go beach..haha...sounded so mean, i noe, but i just want to accomplish all these things..

i'm finally feeling better le...though i always forget to take my medicine..haha..feel like going out to study today...but dun think my mum will allow...hai~

oh, i have to meet up with my three other friends, and school is starting soon....oh, my god....i got lotsa things haven do yet..haven settle down to prepare for my study also...hmm...(that's me, always so panicky with things)..hehe..breathe in, breathe out.....breathe in, breathe out.....ok, calmed down le..shall start get everything in order first...

things that i wanna do before school reopens in 15 days' time:
1) my steamboat..*wink wink*
2) go shopping with my three great friends before Great Singapore Sale ends..
3) go cut my hair..perm it (suggested by alfred)? but think wait till my hair grows longer.
4) buy bag...should i buy??
5) go beach with alfred arh..but dun think he is free..sigh~
6) to exercise and eat less..(how can that be possible??)
7) to settle down and prepare for my study
8) to apply for my concession...

hmm, i hope i can complete all asap..hehe..what else have i left out?? must remind me arh, coz my mum say i really very forgetful...i'm not so old leh, but why my memory is failing..*so sad*...alright, before i forget, i gotta start my work now...hehe...

had a great day yesterday...

went to Bukit Panjang yesterday, supposed to accompany alfred for the contract thingy...oopz, did i say i went out yesterday?? yar, even though i'm very sick...coz i think being his girlfriend, i should be there to give him some supports...ok, continue..den we travelled to his house to have our dinner (his mother's cook)..felt a sense of lethargy, when i reached his house...think is due to the sickness...haha..had a great night, but alfred had no time for me the whole day coz he is very tired and he needed lotsa concentration in his work, so i dun wanna disturb him...(so thoughtful hor...bhb..haha)....

oh yar, i got my tertiary ez-link done, finally...haha..sometimes i wonder, why i can do more things when i'm sick..hmm...well, i also dunno leh...

but of course, everything has to pay a price..coz i 不乖, never listen to alfred and my mum to stay at home...so when i reached home, i got a slight fever and my cough and flu worsen...had a hard time falling asleep also due to a total discomfort within me...and maybe it is tiredness, i went into my dream....but it wasn't long...i got up at 3am plus, and my brain was so packed with things...start to think of lotsa things...dunno y...and it dragged till 6am dis morning...den i dosed off again until 8am...i was so sweaty when i woke up....what's wrong with me? hai~

i actually wanna go help alfred today again, but alfred dun want me to...nvm lor, den i stay at home and rot lor...sigh~

my friend has a chalet tomorrow, but seems like quite a few people can't go...and alfred has his duty tomorrow.. =( so sad again...hehe...nvm lar...stay at home to ensure myself get recovered...haha..

oopz, i forget to take my medicine...heehee..shall go eat now before i forget...

enjoying myself now...though i'm still sick..

immersing myself in the privilege of switching on the tv to watch 绝对 superstar..hehe...coz my parents are not at home...see, even at dis age, everything that i want to do at home still needs the approval of my mum...to switch on the comp, to switch on the tv, to switch on the radio, to go down to buy things, to go out with friends (except with alfred), etc....all need APPROVALS.....sigh~ ask around, who still need approval from parents to do things at dis age? lucky i have two siblings to share the same treatment with me...if not, i dunno how to survive till now..haha.

well, i'm used to it anyway...i just need some personal space for me to breathe..and the only way is to go out...hehe..maybe it is an excuse, but i yearn to go out everyday..haha..*wink wink* but, permission must be granted still..

seems like alfred is really busy nowadays since he is always not free to tok to me... =( *hint*

alright, shall continue to watch my favourite show le....

演唱会见
歌手:欧得洋 专辑:看见六色彩虹

从你电脑那一边
收到第一场雪

身边没有你的台北
天好象特别容易黑

隔着虚拟的画面
我们共度多少个街

上线就算能接通感觉
还是想摸你有温度的脸

为了一年跟你见一面
我从去年分别就开始准备
快这时间快带我到心爱你的面前
热情急着排队
心跳加倍
荧光点点全都响起恋人浪漫宣言
我们约好演唱会见

人群在我们之间
一眼就认出你

手心从不因为距离
模糊我对你的焦距

门票印两颗真心
座位在我怀里

感动不是那些歌曲
而是一起感动的你

为了一年跟你见一面
我从去年分别就开始准备
快这时间快带我到心爱你的面前
热情急着排队
心跳加倍
荧光点点全都响起恋人浪漫宣言
我们约好演唱会见

快这时间快带我到心爱你的面前
热情急着排队
心跳加倍
荧光点点全都响起恋人浪漫宣言
我们约好演唱会见

快这世界快给我你最真实的体验
在排好就的爱终于出现
爱口响起没有结束没完没了想念
我们就要演唱会见

have been rotting for two days..

so bored for the two days..i have nothing to do other than surfing net, watch tv and prepare for school reopen..coz my sisters have started their schools..and alfred is busy with his work...and my friends are not free..sigh~

well, tomorrow i can finally go out le...but oni at night...hmm, nvm lar..i still have alot of things haven accomplished...though i got my clothes, an organiser (finally), and things that i need for school reopen..hmm..what else i nid?

can't wait for the National Library to open...wanna go there and take a look...and i think it will be a pleasant place for me to study when school starts..anyway, it is near my house..haha..ok, i will see how...

haven got my tertiary ez-link done yet..and haven taken my photo..hai~...think i will go do it today since i'm very free now..oh yar, i haven go buy my bags yet..sigh~...alfred, come out asap please...accompany me go buy bag...hehe..nid your comments..also, i haven return alfred money yet..hmm, have to jot everything down before i forget...

if oni my mum have lesser restriction on me...if oni alfred is able to be there everyday...if oni my friends are as free as me...if oni......

"i'm sick...down with flu...brain not functioning well...sigh~ what is wrong with me?"

gonna grow fat soon!!!

have been busy eating since yesterday...as i've said, i had a great gathering with my cousins...well, we had a buffet dinner..and everyone was stuffed with food. just realised how much my cousins can eat...we were actually wondering why waitresses push trolleys while serving us...hmm..now i understand..coz the food we ordered is really alot...my sis and i are all bloated, and we can't possibly sleep until about 2am...haha..

and today i'm really tired...have been walking alot alot...and of course, eat alot too...hmm, poor stomach...hehe...thanx alfred...i noe he is troubled with his work stuff, and he is trying his best to make me feel that he is still present..it is hard on him...but really hope that his work will be fine...and of course, we shopped..and saw familiar faces too...hehe..something bad about Bugis is there is no seats around for shoppers to take a rest..hai~..but overall, i still love bugis alot...one thing to be sad of, i forget to bring my wallet and ez-link card..so have to walk home..sigh...when i reached home, my legs were almost numbed..

i got beard papa for my family..haha..and everyone seems to be happy..and it makes me feel that the aches are worth it...as for alfred, i hope he is fine..coz his legs were also very tired..i love my weekend...

now, i nid to think of ways to get rid of the excess kilos...hmm...*cracking brain*

sudden liking of pebbles..

dunno why i suddenly like pebbles alot..i find that it is especially nice when it comes to design blog...and seems like my blog is getting simpler and simpler..haha..but i like it very much..

later gonna go for a course with my youngest sister...hope it is effective..den gonna go meet up with my aunts and cousins for a buffet dinner..*anticipating*..now feeling abit hungry but no one at home wanna go buy lunch..sigh~...and my lazy youngest sister has been lazing around for hours and do not want to make her bed...oopz...but the whole family got no idea on how to deal with dis kid...

i am very hungry now...gonna search for food le...hehe...that's all for the day..

hope i can go out tomorrow... =)

photos!!

as i've said, i went to alfred's house yesterday...here are some pics took in his room...


he looked so old...rite? hehe..



i looked so stupid..giving that dunno-smile-or-not-smile face...



what am i staring at?!!??



wah, so engross..take picture also dunno...trying to act hardworking reading magazine?!?

have an enjoyable day...the food we cooked are very nice..really...though the food maybe simple, it tasted exceptionally well..and thanx to his grandma for steaming fish for us.. =)

freedom!!!

i'm so happy, though i did not have a good sleep last night...dunno dis few days i do have difficulty sleeping..anyway, i am glad that i dun nid to go back, other than to get my pay. the supervisor, who always scold me, suddenly become so good to me..she bought drinks to treat me..hmm..and i also ate crackers..think gonna gain weight again..sigh..dun dare to to weigh..haha..but hope it will maintain...

i miss Genting...feel like going there one day..see how big the theme park is..(have been staring at this poster in the company for 2 mths...sorta miss it..hehe..



this is the hotel that i wanna stay in..GENTING HOTEL!!!



the station at First World Bus Terminal...Grassland!!!



look at the room inside..so nice rite...hehe..but very ex also..



next time if wanna ask for places to go in Malaysia, i may be a good advisor...;P

Today, i'm going to alfred's house to cook..haha...sounds absurd, but it is true..we are going to cook for our dinner...coz his parents wun be around (attend wedding dinner), and he is free for the day...yeah...and we are going to buy those necessary "materials" first..hmm, i've gotten in mind what to cook, but scared that it will turn out not it is supposed to be..haha..but you never try, you will never know...just hope that he wun say it tastes horrible, can le... =)

me later going to buy clothes first, coz i nid some presentable clothings for uni...and now the great singapore sale is still on, rite?? so, must quickly go buy those necessary stuff..but i'm doing it alone...yup, on the way to his house, i will drop by TM to buy ba...let him wait lor, coz he always make me wait also..haha..oopz!! (alfred is fuming)...alright end here, i nid to go prepare before i set off..shall update again later..

the long anticipated day has finally come..

today is my last day of work...yeah...hope it will go on smoothly...hmm, promised my colleagues to mit them dis saturday...dunno where they wanna go...coz alot of them have their off day ma..haha..and they even wanna bring me around in Genting during dec holidays lor..den ask me to bring along alfred...hmm, they are sometimes very funny, but sometimes very slack...well, maybe i will miss them someday..haha..dunno..

i want to have breakfast with alfred soon!! so that i can wake up early..keke...and make my day more meaningful ma..think it is quite hard thou..nid to wait for his long weekend. i shall wait den..

i still can't upload my photos...sigh~ coz of the stupid samsung program, make me so disappointed...anyway, still waiting for carolyn to send me the program...hmm...*tap finger*

Mood: happy!!! =)



no nid to count down le...the day has arrived...hehe..

love waking up early..

i woke up especially early yesterday without my mum shouting at me..haha..coz i nid to mit up with the "nice person"..haha..coz she promised me to have a breakfast with me one of the days before i end my job..so she must keep her promise lor, and finally, we had our breakfast at Mac Donald...so long never eat Mac's breakfast le, really like it..ok, that's out of point.

i woke up at 7am to get myself ready..see, i got put in effort..and i gave myself some time to walk to Bugis MRT and meet her..though i dun really tok much, i enjoyed the chat alot..coz she seems like she got loads of things to say..haha..but great that she is enjoying her life now, and from her, i also know that there are many people that are leading their good lives now..so happy for all of them.....oh, dun forget her promise to drive me around on 13 aug arh (provided she pass her driving by then...hehe..and our dinner at Secret Garden...hmm...(purposely state all, so that everyone will be the witness..haha..)

well, i nid to mention her name coz she indirectly hinted me to have her name posted!!! but i purposely dun want leh...*bleah*

i met alfred yesterday night..though the meet up has somehow disappoint him and me, we did appreciate each other's effort...i nid to adjust my thought first...i know the reasons for him to ask me that question, and i know my answer disappoint him alot. he held back his tears and gave a forced smile..i'm sorry!! i know everything will be fine soon..and we wun wanna disappoint each other again...hope his business will be smooth-sailing...

when did liwen went overseas huh?? but hope she can come back soon...den we can have our KTV session...haha..*wink wink*

1 more day to freedom....*grin*

mood: happy, but bored...

happy :

1) i am going to end my work soon!!!
2) i'm able to meet up with my friends or even alfred as and when i like.. (soon)
3) i can watch my favourite tv programmes...hoho.. (soon)
4) i can eat my favourite food whenever i want..
5) i have my friends around to help me always.

6) i have my wonderful boyfriend..oopz...

bored:

1) i have to tolerate my work for another few days.

2) i have my routine work to do..

3) have to face those "pissful" colleagues...

ok,enough of all these le...i gotta study how that stupid samsung program works...haha..so no pictures at the present moment...haha..

3 more days to freedom...*anticipate*

A big thankew to my 3 wonderful friends...

have a heart-to-heart talk with my three friends yesterday..thanx for giving me a chance to tok..thanx for the change and everything....

Cheers to our friendship!!!

yesterday went KTV with alfred, sang for 4hrs plus non-stop..haha..now my throat abit sore...well, it is an enjoyable one...alright, i very sleepy now, but still have to go work later..sigh...
i love the sunshine after rain....reminds me of a song that i learnt when i'm very young...

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy, that's why you are great (izit correct??)
you never know dear, how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine away...hehehe

6 more days to freedom...i love counting down...haha...

daydreaming...how i wish i can go windsurfing also...without water?!!?? 

windsurfing??? why got no water?? hmm... 

wow...i finally see some enlightenment...hahaha...( taken by yanning)

realise how much to learn from my dad...

went to orchard just now with my dad to pass his customer something...just went there as a helper??haha...customers from brunei...from the conversations, i realised how much my dad has to go through...to be tolerant, to be able to look at the optimistic side...bla bla bla...great dad!!! i can understand how much you have to handle while overseas...ok, not tok abt him so much..

these are some drawings gotten from my sister's friend...great drawings, dun you think so?? they are not computerised, they are really drawn...no bluff..







why people are always so self-centred?? why people only think of themselves only?? hai~...well, it's not my problem...coz my friends are not in those categories...haha.. ;)
so sorrie that i can't meet yup with them, coz my parents dun allow...hai~ kena scolded by my mum just because i say i'm meeting them at 8pm...Bishan somemore..sigh...well, i will mit them oni after june ba..coz one of the two is going overseas...hehe...really appreciate their efforts...thankew so much and thanx for all the efforts though it is still the same eventually...yup..but i'm contented to have them around...and of course, my other dear friends..dun worry, my mind is clear enough to differentiate the right and wrong...and to know where my friends truly are.... =)


widen your views and you will be able to see things that you never thought it will be...

7 more days before i "ORD"...haha...

Happy Father's Day!!!

well, before i forget today is Father's Day...thanx to Yan Ning...if not bcoz she reminds me, i would have forgotten..haha.but i nid to work today..sigh...alright, to those people as blur as me, just a reminder here...give ur dad a treat today k...

Happy Father's Day to all fathers in the world!!!

11 days more to freedom...yeah...

haha..changed my blog...

coz my mum complain that my blog is too messy...so i decided to change to a super simple one..haha...ooh, did i just mentioned that my mum do see my blog??? haha...yar...she just wanna read for fun...so let her read lor...

supposed to put up a pic of redang beach...but den there is some technical problem, so i shall do it another day ba..

today is another day at work...as days past, i'm becoming happier..haha..coz i realised that i have two weeks more before i end dis dreadful work...hehe..how i wish i can go Genting one day too...i wanna try the theme park there...am i too old to join??? haha...but i think i will be taking Transtar coach instead...dun ask y...coz it is a company's thing...

dis friend of mine has promised me to show me photos of him, coz he is gonna go backpacking.so i will have many photos of different countries..hahaha..hmm...so good...but i wun want to do tt as i think it is too dangerous...got a tour guide will be better..haha..hor alfred??

so surprised that my orientation friend, Aaron, messaged me yesterday to ask abt me..好姐妹..haha..and good that he nv forget me huh...but i'm not joining FOC dis year..coz i nid to work..sigh...how i wish i can go..hmm..to relax, to somehow have a gathering with my ex-OG..hehe..and see if we, the Archilles (is dis or Archiles??), will win the Venus...coz last year we shared a trophy...hai~...and come to think of it, my OG-mates recommended me to be the Chairperson of Archilles (erm, shd spelt dis way ba)...can't even spell the word correctly, how to be the Chair??haha..well, i will recommend junqin, no matter wad...he is power...eat chilli like nobody's business, drink 1.5L of pepsi within 3 mins, able to mix around with people and create bonding, bla bla bla...he showed me the miracle...how much the normal human beings can't do, he can...(",)...no wonder he can be a commando..ok, enough of that..

who can teach me how to make the samsung software work? coz i have difficulty connecting the phone to the software...and i'm not able to transfer the photos...sigh...i'm IT idiot..hehe...but better than someone who is technophobia....hahaha...u noe who i'm refering to rite, Alfred???oopz~

12 more days to freedom..*tapping the table*

alrite, i shall blog

have been so troubled for some stuffs these few days..anyway, those problems are quite redundant for me...but nvm....have to settle it no matter wad...just dun understand why are there people around who like to create problems...and why are there people who think that those problems are problems...haha..i dunno how to answer...coz i am a very problematic child..hohoho..

today morning went out with alfred for lunch before work...we went concourse and found out something quite amazing...have anyone heard of "four clover leaves"? heard that it will bring luck..hmm..but den, i think it is too expensive le..and i believe if one can really increase luck, den there must be something god will take away from him/her...so, i decided not to buy...

anyway, i had a great chat with my colleagues today...gossiping, joking, and sharing problems with work... =) noe why we can tok so much?? coz the boss isn't around to control us..hehe..feeling quite relaxed, except kenna some lectures when i do things wrongly or i forget to do somethings...but i'm used to it le...haha..做人要懂得看开...that is what i always tell myself..and it makes me feel better and learn to look at things at a bigger image...

everything must learn...learning to be happy...learning to be a grown up...learning to be numb with people's bad attitudes...learning to be soft-spoken????erm....haha..it's very difficult, esp. for the last one...well, must perservere...

alfred is busy today...gotta book in at night and tomorrow got shooting some more...sigh~....so no phone chat with him...but he promised he will call at 11pm....predict it to be short, but happy one..haha..ok, end here...

p/s: sorrie dear, i dun think i have so much things to say to fill up the whole page..haha..

"time will prove me right..."

14 days more to freedom....hehe...

i miss you so much...remember the days when we took 179 to my hostel..hehe 

害怕

我本害怕孤单，直到我学会爱自己。
我本害怕失败，直到我体会不尝试，则只有失败一途。
我本害怕成功，直到我理解值得一试，好让自己快乐。
我本害怕人言，直到我学会，不管如何，人们总会对我有意见。
我本害怕遭拒，直到我学会自信。
我本害怕痛苦，直到我学会此乃成长必经的路。
我本害怕真相，直到我看出谎言的丑。
我本害怕生活，直到我体验它的美。
我本害怕死亡，直到我了解它并不是终点，而是开始。
我本害怕命运，直到我了解我有能力改变生活。
我本害怕憎恨，直到我看见无知更糟。
我本害怕爱，直到我心感动，他让黑夜消褪，进入无限光明。
我本害怕遭人嘲笑，直到我学会如何自我解嘲。
我本害怕长大，直到我得以日增智慧。
我本害怕未来，直到我体悟生命渐次美好。
我本害怕恋爱，直到我知道有人可以和你相知相守此生不渝。
我本害怕过往，知道我本会到它已无伤于我。
我本害怕黑暗，直到我看见星夜之美。
我本害怕光亮，直到我学会真理给我力量。
我本害怕改变，直到我看到最美的蝴蝶尚需在展翅前，经历锐变。

yeah, juz quoted everything from some useful books...hehe..i really miss alfred alot...so much so that i will always think of him and even cry when i never see him around, like yesterday..think i am too dependent on him..hai~...i just can't imagine what will happen if i lose contact with him one day...dun even wanna think about life without him around...it must be really miserable..haha..

heard that he will be coming to fetch me today...so happy...even for an hour only, i'm more than happy le... =)

16 days to freedom....*anticipating*

first time doing departure..stress!

yesterday, my colleague was busy preparing for today's morning departure...coz there are about 12 buses dis morning...hence, i had my first try doing the check-in. It is really very stressful...nid to inform the customers alot of stuff and got drivers to tend to...also, there are people around to "listen" to what i'm saying...luckily, "Ah Boy" is there to assist me..haha..but he is indeed very lazy...very unwilling to do alot of things..maybe because i'm one yr younger than him?? (-_-)"'

today is my day off...gonna go ntu later to fill up the green form..and i think i'm not able to meet alfred today, coz he has his shooting later in the afternoon, and have to have dinner with his seageant....hai~...nvm, i dun think that will really matter..hmm...

no one is accompanying me to ntu today..sigh~...my buddy nids to work, and alfred too...and my sisters not that bo liao to go with me...well, travel all alone just to fill up the green form..sounded abit ridiculous, but i got no choice...maybe going to jurong point for a while to shop or what...dunno lar...see how lor..

sian, sian, sian....teach me how to make my life more meaningful and purposeful...work has become a large part of my life le. I dun like it, but what can i do....money is the main issue here. I nid to earn my own allowance, u see..nid to be more independent..earn your own money, so that you can spend it with more consideration, more meaningful, and happier...hehe...

today will end soon...hai~....(pessimistic)

shall stop this pessimism..should say, today has just started...hehe....



17 days more to freedom...lalala...

great chat

yesterday night i had a phone chat with Alfred..though i am abit sleepy, and think he is also, he is still willing to chat till 1am..so happy...but very sad that i can't see him till the week after next..will miss him alot..hehe..

my dad's shop kena termites...having a hard time clearing them..life is tough for my parents, but they never blame anyone..and i think my dad is very disappointed with his relatives...and yet, i can't do anything to help him...sigh~..

“经历过失败是半个人。。。而克服失败， 才是真正的一个人。。”
“失败乃是成功之母。。。既然是母， 那我们为什么那么害怕失败呢？”

quoted the above from FM 95.8...yar, it is a channel for the oldies..but i think all the things that they say are full of wisdom and make me learn alot of things..hehe

things that i still have not done:
=> eat steamboat
=> go beach
=> go shopping with alfred to buy those necessary stuff
=> go ktv
=> go chalet...must wait till dec...
=> go my friend's house to bunk...obviously nid to "jio" more ppl
=> buy backpack for the start of next semester..

alright, shall end here le...i wanna go do my stuff now...hope my friend will enjoy her newly found work, and hope alfred will have a good day in camp...and obviously, my parents will have a smooth sail with everything as well...

19 days more to freedom...hmm...

sunshine...i love sunshine...

i feel like spending my whole day at beach now...watching the sun...the waves...the blue sky...and if it is possible, i wanna see the sunrise...something that one may not even able to see for a lifetime..coz it is short and easily missed...

yesterday's battle is indeed a tiring one...i still have my two modules unregistered..one is because i have a clash with the other lecture, and the other is because my haywired internet connection...and had my vacancy being snatched away...well, have to wait till add/ drop period before i can register for the other two modules..

i also realised that alfred has changed alot alot...very funny rite? even though i'm with him all along, i can't sense his change till yesterday..he is really a great guy..one who protects his girlfriend, one who can handle his stress very well....and can be really serious and really crazy at times..hehe..though he may not be good looking, all his other assets do make people think he is attractive...haha...serious...

i've been thinking all along whether what i have now is real...how can there be someone that is so good in this world..all i knew and have seen are people who are self-centred...how come there are still people like him and my best buddy, who is willing to sacrifice for friends and loved ones..so, i think i'm really fortunate..though the uni route is an extremely tough one as there are far too much unhappiness and misfortune happened to me, these two people have made me realise that i am not that unfortunate after all...haha..also, alfred had told me...why not blame yourself for not hardworking enough and too narrow-minded, instead of being so bothered by those people's comments out there..yeah, true!! i will try...you noe, it is hard to change...but i will try...alfred has shown me miracles, so i believe nothing is impossible...“加油！！”this is a word that we keep reminding each other...

i'm afraid that all these are really dreams, and it will be gone soon...but i believe life is fair...no one will get the best of everything...so shall stop blaming the bad uni life that i'm leading now and start to see the better part of my life... =) (it is all about the psychological thingy..)

"it is only to taste the bitterness of overcoming the obstacles, one will then realise the sweetness and best of life...."

22 more days to freedom...

i had an enjoyable day today

had a great chat with my friends...kinda look things from lotsa different angles...well, no matter what, the earl tea with ice cream is indeed nice..hehe...took some photos too, and that gal is super slow in sending...u noe, her efficiency is about 50%...sometimes think that if one more person is added, is the conversation gonna stay the same?? i dunno...quite tired to think of it too..thou the meet up is rather short, coz got ppl late...but, i think it is a pleasant one...hehe..now, i noe what true friends are...

sorry alfred for waiting for me for abt 2hrs plus, walking aimlessly....i am too engrossed in the conversation basically that i forget the time...anyway, he wasn't angry...but i'm really bad..coz i scolded him for his indecisiveness...I'M A BAD GAL!!! i really dunno y alfred can still like me so much when i keep disappointing him...always make him sad...he always think that it is his fault, and say that he is not a good boyfriend, coz he can't make me happy...but that's not true...i'm not a good girlfriend..always make him sad..always spoil the happy mood..always so pessimistic..always so temperamental...yes, i admitted all...i dun deserve such a good guy actually..

just now, we went pasir ris, dunno for what, den changi airport to eat...den have some talks...i also enjoyed watching aeroplanes fly...and as the chat went on, it is abt time to say "bye bye" to that place...tmr is a another busy day for both of us...i nid to work, and alfred nids to go for his duty...i believe we will pull through all these... =) afterall, we've been through so much le..."i'm sorry, alfred...i noe i shouldn't scold you...it is all my fault...sorry..." i really wanted to say it, but dunno what has stopped me from saying that...maybe that's my character ba...one who will not apologise in front of a person when i'm in the wrong...hai~..bad habit..

i nid to get down to work le...nid to plan my timetable...hai~..and dunno what to do when everything clashes..sigh~

我相信，“船到桥头自然直”

serious, everything will turn out it's way eventually...so no matter how hard the obstacles are, i must overcome...yup..though mentally tired, but physically still able to cope...

24 days more to freedom...continue to count down...

time to meet up with my friends le.

juz received a msg from my friend...she is inviting us to her chalet to celebrate her birthday...i'm so happy to hear that...however, i'm tied down by my work..sigh...dun think i can make it..and it is a saturday and sunday somemore, i dun think i can easily request for my off day..anyway, i hope i can get one of the days off..*pray*

alfred is going sentosa today for a gathering with his jc classmates for volleyball game...so envy..haha..but dunno if he noe how to play anot..hmm..well, i'm glad that he finally noe how to relax and meet up with his friends le..enjoy your day dear.... =)

tomorrow is finally coming!!! so happy..but i'm quite disappointed that they can oni meet me at 2pm..i thot i can spend my whole morning and afternoon with them...den evening at least can go have dinner with alfred..but, hai..everything is disrupted...nvm lor, i will meet them for awhile lor..think i will leave around 4.30pm lidat ba...

i want to trim my hair...shd i have it short, or should i keep it long???? hai~ can't decide leh...think i leave it long first ba..coz i haven reached my desired length...hehe...but still gonna have my hair trimmed slightly...

should learn to count down for the end of working days....let me see..hmm...

26 more days to my freedom... =)

haha..no harm trying, but juz for fun

You Have A Type A- Personality

A- You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

MTVs (cartoon version)

got this websites from my friend, hope you all enjoy..

童话 MTV


老鼠爱大米 MTV

learn to treasure your loved ones...every effort does count....

my enthusiam for work has started to decline

yesterday i'm really sian throughout work...got scolded by one of the supervisors for something that i know i'm not at the wrong..bo bian, i'm new there..obviously they wun believe that it is those that are with more experiences that are at wrong. After the scold, i'm so tired out with my work, literary feel like quiting my job..feel like tell her right at her face, "dear supervisor, i maybe new, but you should not assume that the newcomers are always WRONG!!! open your eyes bigger and see, there are more colleagues around who always laze around, not answering phone calls or receiving faxes..did you see??? no!! what you know is to put all blames on us, the newcomers...and please be more impartial with work nx time...i dun wish to see more newcomers quiting after working for days..."

alrite, shall not tok about my unhappy working experiences..think i'll not go back again anyway...

my younger sister is having her leadership camp since monday...though her absence doesn't have much effect on me, i sometimes will anticipate for her to come back....haha..tokkin about leadersip camp, it reminds me of my leadership camp in NYJC days...still can remember how hard Charmaine and I tried to escape the camp due to choir intensive training..haha...came out with lotsa craps and lies (with the help of Ms Ong)...anyway, we succeeded though...not very proud of it actually, coz it is still lies....

yearning for dis sunday to come...hehe....shall start planning about what i'm supposed to do dis sunday...so that i will not waste another off day again.. =)

i wanna go beach!!!

feeling bad for alfred that I may not be able to mit up with him nx weekend, though he has a long weekend break..not that i dun want to, i have to mit up with my friends too..even when he said it is ok and he understand, i can still sense his disappointment..and we promised each other to go to the beach one day..basically to destress...hehe...but must learn to prioritise friends and him equally, if not, some people will say me again..haha...Alfred, let's make it another day???

timetable is still in progress and i realise that my brain functioning speed is really weak...can't think of how to solve the clashes in timetable...and no matter grp A or grpB that i choose, it is still the same...what should i do??? so sad...

I'm trying to add more colours to my life...and make me feel better each day. but now, i'm so tied down by work..真是心有余而力不足.....however, there is a hidden happiness inside me..maybe, i think it is because that my pay day is getting really near..hahaha..($_$)

so happy that alfred came to fetch me yesterday and bought me something...can't say what it is..hehe..anyway, i am very happy as i always think that it is a blessing to have your boyfriend or husband to fetch you after work...how nice rite? though everytime we can oni meet for 1hr, and nothing much can be done, i'm very happy le...and thanx for his effort to rush down to meet me for that 1hr..haha...how i wish i can end my work asap, so that i can meet up with friends and him...and able to help out at home...

i wanna go beach...i miss the breeze...that is where i can relax...that is where i can sense the presence of nature... =)

lalalala...lalala.....hope today is another happy day...

Saturday doesn't mean much to me now

It's Saturday again!!! However, I'm not sensing any happiness in me. Why? Reason is simple, because I have to go for work lor... I noe it sounded super sian, esp when my working place is already a boring place for me... Anyway, I have to bear with it for another month?? yah, seems quite a long way to go still, but i have to learn to endure all.

Moreover, everyone is busy today ba...coz Alfred is having his duty, and my dear friends are working..my sisters are busy with their CCAs. It's time for me to start reflecting what is the purpose of my life now..hehe.. Not that I don't know it, but I tend to lose it when it comes to holiday seasons. Perhaps, holiday is a period of time to get your income grow, to do whatever stuff that you can't do when school reopens, to take a break...bla bla bla... People will find a purpose of it eventually...heehee.. (what am I talking about? Can't make much sense over it.)

Reading the book Angels and Demons, I realised that there are much points made especially when it comes to the controversial topic - Religion vs Science...it mentioned that Science has become a new god of today as it is able to do alot of things that benefited us, or at least, the scientists.. However, this god has also caused much destruction to our motherly earth, and advancing in the field of science is to increase the speed of digging it's own grave. True, especially from the pollutions that we had now, and the terrible disasters, though it can be natural, but no one will know that it may also somehow be man-made. This author is indeed marvellous, coz he is able to look at things from different perspectives, and give ideas that make the readers ponder. I'm not trying to recommend books to people, but i personally like it alot..haha..

I hope to meet up with my 3 friends nx week, or at least, one of them...I will inform you guys again when i know when is my day off.. =)

The world consists of lotsa hidden truth that is yet to be uncovered..whether it is really truths or myths, it is up to you to decide..

pics of my sisters

i very bo liao at home now...so post those pics of my mei meis...



enjoying my life and lazing around to wait for mama to scold me...oopz, hope ma is not watching me..btw, i'm yan xin..heehee


me and my obiang hairstyle..haha..oh no, pimples on my forehead..urgh!!!


aiyo, so black and small...still trying to act cute..(poor lighting)


two ever cutest sisters of mine..haha..

do i look professional and smart? or do i look awkward?? and i'm yan ning..



me and my unkempt hair...always..heeheez..

alright...that's all...shall not reveal too much..later kenna scolded my by sisters..hahaha...

results for my PE and physics are out

i'm quite surprised that my results for dis sem has improved greatly...haha..thou i still fail two subjects..and even thou my friends may think that my results are not good as compared to theirs, i am rather happy le...at least it shows that my efforts do count...hehehe..well, i sincerely believe that no one should compare with others other than themselves...the main enemy is still ourselves...

nx sem is coming, and it means that it is the start of another battle...i will work extra hard...and since i'm staying at home, i believe i can study better than in hostel..haha..

yesterday nite, i had a good tok with my best buddy..hehe..after so long, we obviously got alot to say...anyway, it is a great chat lar...cheers to our friendship...yar, now abt sore throat...coz i had been tokkin for 8hrs in work, and after i reached home, my fren called and we tok till 2.30am...my throat nv rest at all..die...i hope my vocal is ok..

sorry mommy,coz yesterday nite u did not sleep well bcoz i tok too loud on phone...bo bian, my voice is loud all along..haha...i've apologised by doing all the housework le...

have been a vegetarian for days le....haven touch a single meat yet...starting to lose the idea of how meat tastes like..haha...well, fruits are becoming a compulsory supplement for every meal...and my meals are indeed v interesting now...guess what i've been eating all these days??? think no one will accept my style of eating...yar, fruits...and soya bean plus hi-fibre drinks for every meal...hehe..my mum say dis is to make you clear ur intestines...and it is time to let them take a rest first..haha..ok, sounded comical...but true...i have papaya, pear, apple, banana, "the reddish fruit that i dunno the name", honey dew, orange, and bla bla bla..for meals...quite interesting rite...coz can choose what fruit to eat and at the same time, it keeps me healthy...yup...have to eat all these for at least a week...so i'm not possible to meet up with people...haha..my colleagues always tempt me with food that smells really great..but for the sake of my health, i'm willing to tolerate...haha..and it helps me to save money also...not really lar, coz the soya bean and the hi-fibre drinks are not cheap...(according to my mum)...

ok, maybe i will slim down also..hehe..

whatever it is, i am quite happy now...hope that i can stay so happy for long... =)

later gonna get my new specs at toa payoh...hmmm,though it is brown again, i still yearn to wear it soon...and good news from my dad, he has sent my repaired specs through air parcel and today i will also get it...yeah...

later alfred is going for his first driving lesson...noe he is very nervous, but i'm sure he can make it one...coz i always have faith in him...*wink wink*...

i pray for my dad's safety and health....
i pray for my mum's happiness and health..
i pray for my sisters' successes in studies and friendships...
i pray for my frenz' happiness and cheers to our friendships...
i pray for Alfred's success in whatever he does, and his health...

my problems are solved...hope it wun resurface again

yup, i've finally had my yr2 semester one's timetable planned..all thanx to huiyi that make my life easier..haha..anyway, i juz hope that on the registration day, everything will go smoothly...and i'm taking 8subjects again..sigh~

my problem with my fren has finally solved...haha..after all, we have been so close for so long...

yesterday, i saw a pic on my fren's friendster..hehe..so i decided to ask her to send me..well, it is my jc days photo with the choir committee...and why isn't Grace there huh?? i can't recall why..nvm..anyway, those were the happy days...and indeed, i looked so nerdy then..haha..but i'm slim...now?? sigh~...dun mention le...trying my best to lose weight now...hope i succeed..hehe..managed to get rid of about 3kg after i moved back to my house...what does this show?? and stress, to me, is nothing like what ppl say," will make you lose weight.." haha...coz i still think that physical exercise and proper control of diet are the main criteria...hmm, shall continue to strive hard..



"A leopard will never change its spots.." that is what I believe...*wink*...YOU shd noe what i'm tokkin about...

back to normal soon..

despair will oni bring much misery to my life...so shall not avoid it, and start facing the reality...

i've thought through for days, and i think that since my results are already fixed, i shall not think so much...face it and overcome it...yeah...and like alfred's brother says," stress can make one youthful..." sounds mad..but, maybe it is true...so try to accept stress..haha..

well, frenship again...i've been sitting down here to wait for the rabbit to come..hmm..(shou3 zhu1 dai4 tu4)...haha..shall not do that le...think i will go contact her today. well, if she thinks that our frenship still have some hope, den good lor...if not, sigh~...i shall back off and stop all these thoughts...haha..

now abit headache le...have been thinking how to plan my timetable..like not v fruitful...too difficult to fit extra three subjects into my module...hai..

who will understand the problems that i'm undergoing? who is willing to care? Initiation seems too difficult at times...yar..ok, shall not think so much...i nid to go have my breakfast le..hahaha..

to open up is the only way to let yourself be understood...i'm trying...what about you?

p/s: thank you alfred...you've been a great help in one way or another...really!!! =)

got some enlightenment from alfred's blog

thanx alfred...

yar, i learnt alot from alfred and someone..hmm, think i shall not bother with people who like to compare..people who love to compare will end up in misery...why compare when the only one who you shd compare with is yourself?? nvm, i finally understand the whole theory of it and is able to apply le..haha...anyway, i think i have to apologise to those people who are always beside me to help me all along...people do search for those who will give them joy and can keep them accompany...these are what they considered as frenz...but den, i think i will stick to my belief....all i want is true frenz ba...

nvm about me...anyway, if they are my frenz, they will still come eventually even it is after many years...haha...*optimistic*

today have to work again...sigh...if not because of the money, do you think i even bothered to care?? haha..but anyway, i want my salary asap....coz i nid to give alfred a present...oopz, i've said it...haha...and of course, after june, i nid to help my mum tidy the house...let her rest...hmm, i'm so packed...holidays are short...and i have to make the fullest out of it...haha..

i love reading Dan Brown's books...it contains facts when it is fiction...hmm, quite interesting..but den, christians may not like it coz the stories are mainly about the "truth" behind...haha..but i enjoy reading..coz the decoding process is interesting..i've finished "The Da Vinci's code", and now reading "Angels and Demons" half way through....still got "The Digital Fortress"...hmm, think i can finish all of them ba...haha..hope he can write more.. =)

hmm, have to crack my brain to plan my timetable le...hope it will be a smooth one...and hope that i wun have to compromise with anyone other than my own...haha...

p/s: sorry liwen...