y tutors are so cruel to us? giv us tests before and after CNY...

this week is really making me totally sian!!! have tests...tmr i hav computing test, and worse, i wasn't told the format..whether it is hands-on or is it written..hai~..hope my tutor is a kind one..coz he is very good to us during tutorials..haha..anyway,i'll hav to study soon..oh,i still haven do my physics tutorial and maths too...and materials...ok,i'll do them later. I not sure if my maths test is dis week,coz like many classes having theirs dis week..hmm..how?should i study? and to make the matter worse, i got an extremely lousy "ah tiong" for my maths tutorial...so sick..his life is so easy lor..dun nid to teach, juz sit down there and ask us if we got questions..if not, he will say, good u all got no question..so wat shall we do now..den followed by a moment of silence..yup..irritating guy..and wateva we ask, he will say he will give us the answer..so, wat can we say? all already sianz le lor..and heard tt his test is always very difficult one, die le...*touchwood*..forget chinese new year coming, cannot say die..haha..

i talked to yushi on msn last thurs..we tok alot..haha..abt our letters tt we wrote to each other in our secondary school days..and oso abt alfred and kim siang lar...quite an enjoyable session..but she is leaving soon. hai~ hope she will enjoy her days studying in australia..hmm..and oso all the best to her relationship wif kim siang... =)

oh, last sat me and alfred went jogging and swimming..haha..not bad lar,still can manage to run..thot i will get exhausted after 2 rounds..haha..ok, den swimming...sounds funny,coz the two of us not good in swimming..and hougang swimming complex like got lotsa pro swimmers..haha..quite embarrassing..but our main purpose is to get tanned...haha..ok, den alfred wanna try out his freestyle after so many yrs..abit rusty. and guess wad, he lost his specs..haha..and can tell tt he very xin1 tong4..and of course, we ask for help..and tt mr pro guy helped us find it..heehee..den we went harvey norman to go find CD-RW and mouse..and hav a great dinner at his hse..btw, his brother very sarcastic..and sounded so girlish...can't stand him..but from his appearance really can't tell...so think alfred is still much better even thou his look isn't tt good as compared to his brother..haha..oopz!!..kidding..nothing much about tt nite lar..his parents sent me hme lor,coz i helped him repair his comp till very late..abt 11.30pm..and his mum kept serving me food..haha..den i stuffed everything into alfred's mouth..poor thing rite..

den yesterday,i met jiayu,coz nid to give her the money..den we tok for quite awhile while we wait for the photos to be developed..and alfred meet us halfway through.after jiayu left, alfred and i went walking around the town..quite sian,coz i can't find my CNY clothes..hai~..den he still so patient, say nvm..we go somewhere else to find..and we walked for 4 hrs plus..haha..have a great dinner at ajisen..coz dunno wat to eat oso..den after tt, we walked to esplanade and sit down there to chat..and his words always touch me and make me cry..he is really very kind-hearted and sincere..he asked me if i love him...and immediately say,"dun say,coz i dun wish to noe the answer.." i asked him why,den he replied, "coz i dun dare to hear, and dun wanna feel sad."...from those words, i felt a sense of guilt..wat should i say?? i really dunno..i wish to say i luv him, but is the feeling really real?? i doubted myself..we tok alot..abt living without each other...and bla bla bla..feeling so blissful to have him as my boyfren. and yet, i still think he deserve someone better. hai~ but i will want to spend my whole life with him no matter wad..all the ups and downs, esp. when his mood is at his lowest. ok, u ppl may find me sian,coz i keep tokkin abt him, but i really wanna write it down to assure myself...yes, assurance!

alrite, shall do my homework now...

"Is love about being sacrificial? being touched? being thoughtful? being faithful?....what is love? "

teach me how to look at a student's life in a different perspective...

dunno wat had happened to me, i juz keep having the feeling that life is really meaningless as a student...i can picture myself as a machine - a machine that do homework..haha..dunno y..every week will hav to rush my tutorials, and after i finally finished them, a week has almost come to an end..and guess wad, another round of tutorials come again..so sick..when will i finish my homework?? this is how i feel ever since school starts...haha..

Chinese New Year is getting nearer and nearer..but so sad that i have not even bought my new yr clothes..should i not buy for this yr? anyway, there isn't any clothes that capture my attention nowadays..hmm..ok, i'll discuss that with my mum..c wat she says..that's aside, i keep having the dilemma in my mind..i really wish New Year will come asap, but on the other hand, i dun want it to arrive so soon. think is bcos i dun wan such festive season to end so soon ba, and can enjoy the anticipation of those days to come..hehe..that is me, always so fickle-minded. juz recalled last year dis day, i had juz started working in a tour agency..and i had difficulty memorising those places in malaysia. how i wish everywhere in the world is as small as singapore, dun nid to memorise so many places n tourist attractions..haha..and many malaysians were rushing to get bus tickets in order to go back to their hometown on time...and usually, those who come 2 weeks before chinese new year to buy the tics will experience problems like all tics being sold out..i assume that now, that tour agency muz be very busy ba..so long never go back and c..wondering if they still remember me??

this saturday i'm going to go jogging with alfred...finally...so long never jog le, wonder how long i can run..hmm, den after that have to go his house to repair his computer..think that will occupy me the whole day le..haha..den on sunday, i hav to meet jiayu at bugis to pass her money...coz she bought a shoes and we treat it as her birthday gift, so now must give her money..haha..so weird rite..first time c ppl give present in such a way, but nvm lar, coz she is more than willing to hav it dis way, and we dun nid to fan2 nao3..haha..btw, her birthday like in march hor...so early giv her prez...hmm...so weird leh..juz cannot get use to it..ok, shall not say so much..it will be another busy weekend ba...hope my mum wun scold me for not staying at home...

phew...spring cleaning can also be a form of exercise...

as i've promised to write in chinese...hmm..so this blog will be in chi..haha..

今 天 我 没 去 上 课， 因 为 只 有 一 介， 而 且 是 早 上 8.30am。 要 我 那 么 早 起， 很 难 啦。 我 接 下 来 的 课 是 傍 晚， 所 以 我 整 个 早 上 和 下 午 是 空 闲 的。 哈 哈！！ 如 果 Alfred 看 到 我 所 写 的， 一 定 骂 我 的。。 我 整 个 上 午 都 在 打 扫 我 的 宿 舍 的 房 间。 原 来 我 的 房 间 是 那 么 的 肮 脏 啊。 满 手 的 灰 尘， 好 恐 怖 哦！ 想 想 看， 我 以 跟 这 些 灰 尘 同 住 了 那 么 久， 都 没 察 觉 到， 实 在 是 失 败。。 今 天 也 心 血 来 潮， 那 起 布 往 有 灰 尘 的 地 方 抹 去。。。 应 该 是 干 净 了 吧。。 不 然， 就 真 的 是 白 做 了。 哈 哈！！

想 到 新 年 快 到 了， 真 的 很 开 心。 不 是 因 为 有 红 包 可 以 拿， 而 是 因 为 新 年 和 圣 诞 节 一 样， 有 很 浓 厚 的 佳 节 气 氛。。 我 非 常 喜 欢 这 种 气 氛。。 也 不 知 为 何， 就 是 很 开 心。。 情 人 节 也 要 到 了， 不 知 道 Alfred 那 天 有 没 有 出 来。。 无 所 谓 啦， 反 正 我 多 数 的 节 日 多 不 能 和 他 过， 比 如 我 去 年 的 生 日， 新 年 倒 数， 等 等。。 但 我 没 怪 他， 也 不 是 他 要 的 嘛， 在 当 兵 的 男 友 就 是 这 样 的。。 得 体 谅， 体 谅。。 其 实 也 不 能 闲 弃 什 么 了。 他 已 经 算 不 错 了， 一 有 空 就 会 陪 我， 连 他 的 父 母 都 知 道 也 很 体 谅。。 他 的 妈 妈 还 很 羡 慕 我 们， 对 Alfred 说 ：“ 你 爸 以 前 都 没 对 我 那 么 好。” 听 了 很 开 心， 但 也 很 惭 愧， 因 为 我 那 时 还 没 那 么 珍 惜 他。 可 是 心 里 的 那 种 甜 蜜 是 无 法 形 容 的。

不 知 道 是 幸 运 还 是 不 幸， 让 我 有 这 个 男 友。。 他 的 确 对 我 非 常 好， 很 照 顾 我， 但 我 变 得 有 点 依 赖 他， 常 需 要 听 到 他 的 声 音 才 能 好 好 睡 一 觉。 当 他 在 值 班 时， 我 会 很 思 念 他， 也 会 为 他 的 健 康 感 到 担 心。。 哈 哈。。以 前 真 不 懂 得 珍 惜 他， 还 常 利 用 他。 但 自 从 我 发 现 我 有 多 爱 他 之 后， 我 开 始 后 悔 我 当 初 的 举 动。。 现 在 不 在 是 什 么 都 是 他 还 钱 了， 而 是 有 时 我 出。。 也 不 去 高 级 的 餐 厅 吃 饭 了， 而 是 在 咖 啡 店 享 受 美 味 佳 肴。。 至 少 我 们 是 在 为 将 来 打 算， 不 想 那 么 挥 霍。。 这 种 才 是 我 要 的 生 活 嘛。。 好 了， 得 准 备 去 上 课 了。。 先 去 冲 凉。。 好 好， 就 此 搁 笔。。

“ 爱 不 是 因 为 自 己 的 利 益 而 去 爱， 它 是 一 种 动 力。。让 你 察 觉 你 所 不 知 的 本 能。。 爱 包 含 了 许 多 包 容 和 耐 心， 但 也 会 让 人 失 去 理 智。。它 的 力 量 是 无 法 估 计 的。。”

can't wait for this thursday to come..

i'm still quite happy with my performance in school till now..at least it is still so at the present moment..i'm able to cope wif my studies as well as frenz..haha..and of course, i hav more time for my family and oso alfred..quiting ECA has given me so much more time to do the things i wanted..no more late tutorials, i hope..heehee...well,this fri is Hari Raya...i love holidays, can have a break from all the academic stuff which has been suffocating me for so long...still planning about where to go this fri..like i supposed to meet up wif liwen hor...if i not wrong..shall confirm wif her again..and poor huiyi still hav band concert this fri. dunno if i can attend anot..anyway..i'm supposed to meet chuying now for dinner...oopz...betta stop writing le...later den continue....heehee....

pen down at 6.21pm

phew..lucky juz now i'm still earlier than chuying..if not she'll be complaining..haha..alrite,had a rather full dinner,but how full can it be especially when it is porridge???anyway,i love eating porridge,dunno y??or may be i love eating 油 条..oh,should try to type my blog in chinese next time..dun think many ppl will do that, and it is rather difficult to write in chinese too..but it is a fresh idea..i'll try on my next blog..haha..think i go finish up my homework now before i start panicking...

"happiness is the best cure for most sicknesses...on the other hand, sadness is the root of most illnesses.."

another week is coming to an end...

actually dunno what to write..coz there are so many things up in my head..my life is somehow rather getting meaningless nowadays..the oni things that i've done were attending for lectures, going for lab work,doing homework,and the oni best thing is to go out wif alfred..thou he sometimes quite irritating,keep teasing me n make super lame jokes,i am always very relax when out wif him..we will go walk around or go shop for things..haha..oso,i luv fridays,saturdays, and sundays..coz i can stay at hme and have more time to get in contact wif the outside world..i dun like the feeling of being confined to a restricted area..esp. when i hav to spend most of my time there n it is away from the actual society...

oh yar..i spent a wonderful day wif alfred..thou we hav a slight quarrel,as usual, we hav a marvellous day..and the day before oso..on 8/1 (sat),we went to liwen's hse for house warming..initially quite sian..lucky got alfred there to pei2 wo3..coz liwen is super busy wif her own stuff..and i dun wanna disturb her oso..she somehow sensed our boredom,so she let us play a game..quite fun lar coz it can entertain us for 2hrs plus..haha..not so bad..


alfred trying out wif the game at Liwen's room...

den that jiayu and eugene tan oni come at nite..but ok lar..at least i not so bored when they come lor.they are so funny..esp. tt eugene..alfred oso says he very cute..with his 口 头 禅：“ 你 很 变 态 leh。。”..den liwen's bro's frens keep serving us wif bbq food..haha..not bad lar..

den i bought a cake for alfred on his b'dae oso..he finished it immediately outside the mac at rivervale mall lor..

the cake when i juz bought..


alfred eating the cake...


half gone...but it is really very nice...yummy..still can remember the taste..haha..

yup..that's about it..dunno wat to say oso..tmr is my longest day..sianz..hav to rest early today..anyway,before i sleep,i hav to go bathe first..haha..alrite,end here...

“ 明 天 就 像 是 盒 子 里 的 巧 克 力 糖。 什 么 滋 味， 充 满 想 像。。 失 望 是 偶 尔 拨 不 通 的 电 话 号 码。 多 试 几 次， 总 会 回 答。。”

damn it..y they just can't let me off..

now so angry..why these people (choir pres n vice pres) juz can't let me off..so sick!! i wana quit choir is my problem,y make ppl's life difficult..still dare to tell me i'm not officially out of choir..wateva they say,i juz pissed off with them..so inflexible..so wat if i'm not officially out of choir?i will never go back for those practices..i like singing..but not with those hypocrits in this choir...i'm really angry..so yin1 hun2 bu4 san4..and now i like dislike this choir like dunno wat,where got mood to go for their practices?they juz dunno how to think..ask such a lousy vice pres to qn ppl,out of 10 ppl,think 10 of them will not return to choir after tokkin to her..i dun wish to spoil my mood juz lidat...

today's prescribed elective is somehow interesting in some ways..haha..got lotsa hands-on stuff..and wat's best is the tutor let us off one hr earlier..at first,he was thinking letting us off at 8pm,but it turns out to be earlier..haha...so happy..he is really a nice person,but so sad for him tt the majority of the class were involved in their private conversations..so irritated,make the rest of us having difficulty to catch wat he is saying..so inconsiderate..but the relaxation part is the best..haha..oh,btw,my PE is "Are you ok? mental health dunno wat.."..paiseh,too long to remember..think i will eventually go back to consonance or amadeus..coz i can't miss singing..haha...but still,muz make sure tt it wun clash wif my work...c how first lor..will consider..

today had a great tok wif grace lin..she is a much better person as compared to the other grace..haha..tokkin to her make me feel happier..dunno y..maybe is bcoz she sounded so hyper..serious..make me think tt she is still having her break..anyway,we hav similar frequency lar..tt's y we can tok so much..haha..

tmr is such a short day..oni hav lesson frm 1030am to 1130am..haha..den after tt can go hme!!!! yeah!!! first time go hme so early..anticipating...

"to learn to let go, is the best way to remove most unhappiness..."

1st day of malay class...*confused*..

yup..had my first day of malay lesson as a general elective..thou ppl will find it weird or wad,coz ppl usually take jap, german, french...bla bla bla..other than malay..but i think malay is quite important,esp in Singapore..oso,nx time can understand wat my mum say when she tok to my aunts..haha..oops!!! but i find learning a new language is rather interesting..try tokkin to me in malay nx time...i may abit broken,but i will sure understand wat u tokkin abt..(hopefully)...

alfred,as usual,has accompanied me the whole day..waited for me to end my tutorial n have dinner together..how nice..this sunday is his birthday..hmm,wat shd i get for him..haha..anyway,my mum has an idea,but i dunno if alfred will like it or not..hmm..haha..think of the gift my mum suggested made me laugh..haha...

i hav finally quited my eca..had a rather bad conversation yesterday wif my vice-pres aka grace,dun wish to mention the content..wateva i told her is advices and wat me,as a MEMBER, saw, and wat she,as a VP,can never see...she wanna take it anot is none of my business..coz i quited...the conversation had made me so determined to quit..and worse still,i was so sick yesterday..tt makes my mood go straight dwn..however,i still somehow tried to control my temper..if not,think she wun bother to tok to me again...anyway,who cares...thru this,i had learnt the true side of human...how hypocritical ppl can be...wateva the case is....IT IS FINALLY OVER!!!! yeah...feel so carefree suddenly...hahaha..

now still down wif flu and cough..hai~..so irritated..but hope can recover asap..coz i dun wish to miss my buffet..hahaha... ;P

alrite,shd go slp le..if not i dunno tmr how..such a long day..*yawn*...

A painful decision...

30 December 2004

it's our one year anniversary..haha..we never really celebrate this day,in fact,it is a very sad day coz i made him really sad...i'm very sorry..i dun wan tt to happen,but i deserve a scold..anyway,he made a card for me..very nice...i mean for a guy to do such thing..it is really good lor..i dun think i can do as nice as him..haha..

31 December 2004

I was with alfred the whole day..and i went to STORM to go have my hair cut. hmm..i quite like my new hairstyle, and it is finally a different one..haha..but i still think that it is too expensive..anyway,i think it is worth it lor..many ppl can't recognise..dunno y oso..actually i oso can't really recognise myself when i look into mirror..haha..

me taken in hostel...nice??

den me and alfred took bus to yio chu kang mrt station, coz i going to stay overnite at Liwen's house..

me on the way to yio chu kang...

Alfred and i taken on bus...to kill boredom due to long journey.

Liwen's house is really very nice..anyway, we did nothing much other than watching MVP Valentine till 4.45am..very tired,but very relax..heehee..

3 January 2005

well,today alfred accompanies me throughout my lessons..den in the evening,his dad drove us hme..quite a pleasant start of the yr..btw,i decide to go hme suddenly..and i oso abit not feeling well..and with alfred's encouragement,i made this decision..haha..i enjoyed my stay at hme..anyway, i've decided to quit my ecas.it is a difficult decision..but after discussing with my parents,they advise me to quit..coz they are afraid that i can't cope well with both..me too...i was very stressed..but think it is a good solution..haha...hope they approve.. =)