who is stressed?

just when i was walking to the bus stop just now, boi called me and told me how stress he was...
i just dun have the mood to talk to him..
i'm having those bochap attitude towards anything...sorry..
sometimes find that, why should you tell another person that how stress you are?
i'll never say...coz i noe everyone will have their things to bother...
why must add on to it?
sorry, i noe that being his girlfriend, i must at least hear him talk...
see if he is troubled, and try to console him, help him to find a solution...bla bla bla..
yup, i noe i must do all those stuffs...
But,
can i just dun listen, and end the call?
then i noe it'll hurt his feelings...and make myself look so NOT understanding..
i really wish i can be a total NOT understanding gal...
just because i need to spend too much time trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, i have to live my life in such a painstaking manner...
is it worth?


just let me SHOUT OUT today...
i need to vent these trashes somewhere...if not i'll explode....

"人不是在沉默中爆炸， 就是在沉默中死亡。。"

ok, project superstar is starting soon...
end here...

*let out a sigh*

to go or not to go?

dunno why, suddenly have no mood to do anything...
the enthusiasm for going out on 15 dec is gone...
haiz~
kinda feeling sick of it, why so troublesome to go out?
people halfway wanna leave...some worse, maybe last minute can't go...
tell me, lidat where got any mood to do anything???
must as well call it off, isn't it?

as for malaysia trip,
that's even worse..
i just wanna go overseas to get some fresh air...
haiz, looks like it's not possible anymore.
CL most probably cant go...
Francis wanna go clubbing...
den...no point going le...
just so sick of everything...
please, dun organise anything le k..
always say this, say that and ended up???
NOTHING!

well, boi is totally not free during Dec, except Christmas...
so, who wanna jio me out in DEC??? let me know k..
if not, i will really bored to death man..
suddenly hate december so much...
and counting down??? i'm alone again...
arggghhhh, every year lidat...
that's the problem of having a boyfriend that does events...sigh~

*bad mood*

Skin changed for countless times

and YEAH,

i've changed my blogskin AGAIN!!!!
i noe some people are really sick of me changing and changing...
actually i'm trying to look for a skin that is suitable for me...
so, at different stage of life, my mood changes, and so does my blogskin...
yup...just bear with me lar..

i really love this skin a lot..
and i really do hope that it will last for very very very long lar...haha...
unless i find any flaw, i will not change it..haha

did something meaningful..

haha...just managed to finish 3 art pieces....
hmm, can't say it yet...
shall wait till next week den disclose...
well, i think it'll be quite meaningful... ;P

got scolded by mum early in the morning...
haiz~
the feeling of leaving this house is getting stronger and stronger...
i really can't wait for the day where i can get out of here totally...
yar, i may regret, but the mental torture is much worse..
anyway, it's my fault...
i can't be a "good" daughter that my mum wants..
yup, and i noe he can help me...
he wants to...but it's not the rite time yet...
so, i'll wait patiently... =)

you may think it's childish...but who cares...
till you got a mum like mine, then u will understand....
my friends around me, even boi, will agree with me...haha...
ok lar, i'm really used to it le...21yrs le leh...just that i'm starting to not see the point of being a slave of my mum...yup...at least a slave for someone who will appreciate is better, isn't it?
ok, WHATEVER..

boi is busy today...
he is stressed, i noe...
so i shall not disturb him to add on to his problem...haha..
coz myself is a problem to him, at times...
hope everything will turn better...*grin*

i've not been talking about my IA recently...
coz i really gt nothing to talk about...
oh, other than the "死了都要爱" from Francis....so we all 死了都要挨 his terrible singing...haha...
Liu Bing is going overseas tomorrow till friday...haha...
we've decided to buy something for Liu Bing...Francis will decide what to buy lar..
hmm, can't think of things to say le..

i'm getting tired of my work in IA...
just dun see any purpose of all these formulations, castings, testings...bla..
why?
maybe because i've submitted my report ba...
dunno lar...must remain 开朗.

just now have a gush of thoughts to write, but now, dun feel like writing again..
ok, end here..

Songs that he sang to me...

everytime i hear these songs, i will think of him...well, these are the songs that make me feel so bliss...haha...*mushy* but really, it shows me how much he loves me..and me?


Nothing's gonna change my love for you

if i had to live my life without you near me
the days would all be empty
the nights would seem so long
with you i see forever oh so clearly
i might have been in love before
but it never felt this strong
our dreams are young and we both know
they'll take us where we want to go
hold me now touch me now
i don't want to live without you

nothing's gonna change my love you for you
you oughta know by now how much i love you
one thing you can be sure of
i never ask for more than your love
nothing's gonna change my love for you
you oughta know by now how much i love you
you'll only chang my whole life throug but nothing's gonna chang my love for you

if the road ahead is not so easy
our love will lead a way for us
like a guiding star
i'll be there for you if you should need me
you don't have change a thing
i love you just the way you are
so come with me and share the view
i'll help you see forever too
hold me now touch me now
i don't want to live without you


i love the way you love me (his first cd album for me)

i like the feel of your name on my lips
and i like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss
the way that your fingers run through my hair and how your scent lingers even when you're not there

and i like the way your eyes dance when you laugh
and how you enjoy your two-hour bath
and how you've convinced me to dance in the rain
with everyone watching like we were insane

but i love the way you love me
strong and wild
slow and easy
heart and soul
so completely
i love the way you love me

and i like the sound of old r 'n' b
and you roll your eyes when i'm sloppily off key
and i like the innocent way that you cry
at sappy old movies you've seen thousands of times


(listen to me now..)
and i could list a million things
i love to like about you
but they could all come down to one reason
i could never live without you..


that's all...
waiting for someone to call me...haha...
hope he'll reach home safely...*pray*

great weekend

Friday
went back to NTU to submit my report....
met up with hy & cy for k-session..
but well, we've spent too much time in school, ended up reaching marina square at about 4pm..
wanted to sing, but that stupid woman at the counter told us that we are only allowed to sing till 6pm...
WHAT??!?!?
2hours of singing but paying 5hours worth of k-ing? she must be nuts lor..
then, we loitered around...
went to suntec to play arcade..haha...(pics below)



saw wee kiat there...(juz a comment)
then, we try our luck at suntec's kbox...coz i dun want someone's curse to come true..
and glad that we did...we could sing from 5pm to 9pm k...paying for the drinks and tidbits only..
yeah...
*pics update at a later time*

and our dinner is at 9 plus...we ate Just Noodle...yup...eat noodles lar, obvious rite..
i really enjoyed myself...
thanx gals...
bring me along if u wanna buy converse shoes hor..coz i also interested...hehe..


Saturday
went out with boi...
hmm, trying to recall where we went...
oh, met him at tampines...
we went for lunch, and i bought a necklace from perlini's silver..very happy that i got that, actually..
then, it rained heavily, so we decided to go boi's house to watch tv..
his mum cooked for us..very simple, yet very nice!!!
at about 9pm, we travelled to Jalan Kayu for roti prata...haha..
i was quite full, and the pratas made me fuller...there goes my slimming plan again...haha...
since when i got such a plan??
*sob sob*
then, his family sent me home...


Sunday, which is today
did lotsa household chores, as usual..
met boi at about 12plus...
we went suntec (again!!) for lunch...then marina....
saw ling feng, chester & guo ping working at SEXPO...they were bad, ask boi whether he wants those gifts...coz got condoms, vibrator, etc...*shake head*
those guys, bad influence...haha..
oh, i bought two shirts...coz i think i'll need them when i return to school...
also, boi forced me to go for professional eyebrows trimming...
and now, i really look weird!!!
omg~
wanna wear a mask out...
boi still says i look very nice..sigh~
wat a white lie...
had dinner with boi's family...
something Hainanese again...hehe...
but i think i really like hainanese food...oh, no...


ok, well, now i need to go...
sleeping soon....*yawn*

relaxed.

finally, tomorrow will be the submission of my report!!!
haha...fascinated as it will mean that there will be no more stress...i hope..
can't wait to see hy & cy...arggghhh~
miss them a lot...

boi's brother is coming back soon...
it's his final semester, and guess what? First class honours k...and heard that he top the whole school...*faint*
i like smart people...haha..but i dun like his brother...oopz~
no lar, he quite ok lar...eh, helped me buy a bag from australia..
can't wait to see it!!!!
oh, i will pay for that bag..i dun care... *pout*


ok, something serious...
after so many days of thoughts, i really decide to go back...
i'm tired of the times where i have to face those mental struggles, emotional breakdowns, etc.
yes, i dun wish to see history repeating itself...
one Simon is enough...i dun wish to be the second him...no...
if i do, then it will hurt boi alot...
i had boi as a pillar of support that time, but who will be his now?
SO, i should stay by his side...to heal his wound..it's me who cause all these, and i should be the one ending these..
解铃还需系铃人

as i've promised, i will stay by his side forever, no matter what..
then, i should keep my promise as a promise weighs a lot in both of our hearts..

boi, give me some time to get back..

dun snatch my freedom away k...
i need my friends too...

my favourite song, and it's kinda meaningful... =)


I think I (浪漫满屋) ~ translated

I refused to believe that it could be so,
there’s no way that I’m in love with you,
I lied to myself that it’s just a petty jealousy,
that I must be feeling lonely, but I cannot hide it anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so,
Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

We are not meant for each other, and being friends is the best thing for us,
there isn’t a single thing we have in common,
so I claimed there’s no way we can be lovers,
but I don’t want to make excuses anymore.
why didn’t I know that it was you,
why couldn’t I see it when it was right in front of me,
it was beside me all along,
but only now can I see love.


anyway, as i've said earlier...
there is only one path i can choose...
soon, all these will be history...

sad...but is it over?

many terrible things happened for the past two days...
till now my feelings are still floating...
i've tried to talk, but it got worse..
i really feel like leaving this mess..
almost break up..but he just trying to salvage..
i dunno...

went to boi's office today...
everything seems alright...
is it really alright?
i'm confused...

i can't speak naturally in front of him..
i dunno...
wat's going on?
boi, i noe u still feel sad...you just trying to hide ur feelings...
but, is it going to help?

*let out a sigh*

is ending IA going to make both of us feel better?
i hope it will...


pics taken with him along the way from his office to esplanade...

will you regret going to the company for your IA?

dis is a question francis asked today...
hmm, i also dunno the answer..
well, wun regret ba...
reason same as him, coz i've made 3 friends...
yup...though i'm the only gal there, i dun really feel outcast k..
thru this IA, i start to love cars...while sitting at a corner of a bus, i'll look out of window and look at the models of the cars...quite interesting, actually..
also, their soccer betting sessions...it's a vice..i wun touch it, but it's fun to hear them say about soccer, like they very pro lidat..
teasings, jokes, actings, singing, bla bla bla....it's so funny when come to think of it...
guys are really different from gals...
they wun hate you forever...only that moment when you did something bad to them..yup..
still remember the flooding incident, i splashed dirty water on alex's face...coz he agitated me...but, he wasn't angry...i mean, he is angry, but he very fast forget it le..hmm, should learn from them...
maybe i'll end up having mindsets like them...oohh, not good..then i'll hurt people unintentionally..
haha..
but it's really fun to be in Brady for these few months..
very soon, it will mark an end to my attachment journey...and now, i must treasure every moment i spend in Brady..yup...
think i'll miss this place and these people alot!!! the security guards, that indian lady, the operators, aunty (cleaner), huiling, chinni (put for fun), kenryuu (put for fun too), liu bing, francis (still can see in ntu), chinleng and aiya, dun wanna say le..haha...so sad rite? life is just a torture at times. it's really fun to work with the 3 guys, coz they are just so child-like. it's a place where i wun see fake people (those wearing masks)...though quite a few backstabbers *giggling*, but they are just trying to be funny lar...i noe i'll miss them, true friends huh..also, i'll miss taking bus 21..miss eunos & jtc caifan..ok, enuf..yup..

oh, Francis is organising a KTV session on 16 dec...
i feel like going...but it's like a pub instead of those kbox or partyworld...
haiz~
boi sure wun allow one...coz...haiz, dun wish to mention again..
well, if huiling is going, i'll go lor...
if not, den i'll ask them to go somewhere else ba...haha..
think in the end, i will end up not going...why? restrictions!!!

nothing much to say le...
very tired...
finally finished my report!!! hope no error...
but it seems like it's too short leh...
haiz
anything den..can't be bothered le..

缘分

got this by chance....very meaningful...

缘分

人与人之间的交往，总脱不开这一个“缘”字，在芸芸众生茫茫人海之中，二人能够相遇，这就是缘。一次目光的交流。一次心灵的邂逅，便结下了二人之间的不解之缘。即使是有缘无分，即使是今夕萍水相逢，明朝海角天涯，却依然能够给彼此留下一份意味深长的回忆。缘分，本是迷信的人认为人与人之间由命中注定的遇合的机会。就是在科学文明的现代社会，人们也宁愿相信缘分，并且痴心地向往缘分，真诚地期求缘分，尽管生活是那么现实，是有点不尽如人意。

2500年前，一代圣贤孔丘先生在一次偶然的机会中，与仰慕已久的春秋时著名美女卫国国君夫人南子曾有一面之缘，雷祯孝先生是这样描述的：孔子欣然应邀，与南子谈论音乐，弹琴唱歌。在优美的旋律中，他们一个暗送秋波，一个眉目传情，互相欣赏，心照不宣，如沐春风，如浴温泉，用眼光抚摸美丽，用语言辐射温柔。对这天赐良缘 ，孔老当然连高兴都来不及，然而，却难为他老人家在伪君子，登徒子与正人君子之间着实费心劳神地考虑了一番。可见，缘分有时能带给人无限欢乐，有时却让人进退维谷左右为难。缘分，实在令人难以捉摸，缘起缘落间，又隐忍着怎样的哀怨，又引起了多少阴晴圆缺，悲欢离合？其实，人世间哪来那么多缘份，若非这样，岂不早让月老下岗，红娘失业？当然，一曲瞎子阿炳的《二泉映月》，一束香气四溢的红色玫瑰，一次平淡无奇的无意相逢，都是有可能促成一段美满的姻缘的。中华民族的千古功臣张学良少帅与他的结发之妻于凤至小姐不也是 “古镇相亲结奇缘”吗？一旦机会来了，就好像是三生石上记录在案的缘分，任凭你怎样逃避推脱，总是于事无补的。

有人说，生命中最动人的情节永远是两个灵魂蓦然相遇相知相爱相惜的刹那。这也许道出了恋人共同的心声。真的，当我们青春年少时，在山间溪旁车上舟中有缘会过聚过，不管他年是不是相濡以沐相依为命，还是相忘于红尘世界，不见于天地之悠悠，但总是在一起过，开心过，热闹过，全心地投入过，诚挚地交往过，没有隔碍地度过了一段时日。当我们七老八十闲着无聊的时候，回首往昔岁月中那段动人的缘分决不会有错失良缘的痛苦与忏悔，饱经沧桑的脸上肯定会挂住一个会心甜蜜的笑容。

生命本是一种缘。我们不必十分刻意地去追逐缘分，假若缘分就在我们身边，只要好好地珍惜缘分，把握缘分，对得住缘分，这样就够了。

When stupidity acts, embarrassment follows..

pics taken on saturday nite...boi took one, looked so stunned..haha..and the pooh!!! our resemblance...god, can't imagine our child looks like this..argghhh~ *想太多了*



boi fetched me yesterday...
he drove!!!
yar, i'm the live street directory lar..ask him to turn here, turn there...interesting..
we went to watch Casino Royale..
better than i expected..haha..
dun wanna embarrass him, so shall not say much about his driving incidents, other than he never switch off his headlights before he went off and forgetting to change his gear to "parking" when he parked....oopz~ ok, no more from me k..hahaha...
it's really ex to park at esplanade k...haiyo...*shake head*

hmm, so many things happened today...
the worst news, i need to re-do my report and hand it to liu bing by tomorrow..sigh~
it's very sad and stress to hear that...
so, i'll be taking a half-day leave tomorrow...going brady in the afternoon lar..
i'll be going back school dis friday!!!
hy & cy, wanna meet for lunch??very very long never meet le leh...*sob sob*
second, everything suddenly seems so clear le...i noe what i'm doing now..thanks! shhh, this is a secret, can't say..was very troubled the whole day, but now, i noe what i should treasure..but i still need time to get back from the aftermath, get myself healed..haha...great counsellor, indeed. but still i have to say this, SORRY! 2 more weeks, and these will be history..and i have to forward to next stage of life..friends, will our friendship ends just lidat? well, someone just wun bother, i noe..nevermind.
third, casted more than ten inks today...the washing part is worse...and wat adds on to my pissfulness is all the inks failed!!! damn it. Substrates are limited! i need to coat primer again, and time will be wasted! excuse me, how much more must i do?
fourth, i realised that i forgot to bring home my important documents for project when i'm already halfway home...so, boi called me and persuaded me to travel back..excuse me, it's raining k...but i still ran back to brady...the security guard was confused, but i can't be bothered to explain to him lar..and i never regretted going back..coz now, i got something to write...THANX, DEAR!

alrite, no more time wasted...
i need to get started now..

blank!

sitting in the living room using his sis's laptop, while he is sleeping in his room...
haiz~
what's the purpose of going out these few days?
my precious weekend....am i going to waste it just like that?
why am i forever waiting for him?
why am i feeling down?
i'm trapped?
*let out a sigh*


i've finally said...
yup...glad that the outcome is much better than expected...
well, i still think that i shouldn't have said...haiz~
i'm troubled now...
*breathe in, breathe out*
ok, i'll take it as nothing has happened...hehe...
lalala....
back to the happy me...


still waiting for boi to wake up..
how miserable....
thank god that his mum and sis are there to keep me entertain..
i really dun wish to be in this stage...
arrrrgghhh...
i wanna stay single!!!!
i yearn those days....
i dun want such life...
why must i accomodate him all the time?
haiz~

a long lost friend found!

i'm really feeling very happy...
coz i found a friend who i once was very close to thru friendster....my brother!!!
Kenneth!!
we lost touch ever since my secondary school days ended..
he is still the same...so nerdy..haha..
very very smart guy..
i always have him set as a goal..to achieve as much as him...but of cuz, i failed..

a little history about our friendship...
i knew him since the first day of my school life...PRIMARY ONE..
he was my "partner"...you noe, last time teachers will pair a guy and a gal up for queueing up before we proceed to another place..
and yup..he is the first guy who held my hand...hahaha...
it makes me laugh when i think about it..
his grades always top our class...but that doesn't make him distant from all of us..
he is very 懂事..
he treated me like his sister..never failed to share his things with me...even if it's a little candy, he will divide it into half..and give me the other..
haha...he dotes on his sister alot..
he is really SMART!!!
he wanted to be a doctor since very young...and now, he is half-doctor le...jiayou!
hmm, what else? he folded a origami for me, and till now, i still keep it k..
during secondary school days, we still keep in contact, coz we were both under Nelson Kwei's choir...he is from RI and i'm from TK...then we will meet up for a chat or something...

after sec 4, i lose contact with him le...
i almost forgot his existence...how sad...
till recently, i tried to look into friendster....and i found him!
haha...

hmm, that's about all ba...

mixed thoughts

1) For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
2) He who angers you conquers you.
3) Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.

So why should i be a fool? why should i let those people conquer me? why should i lose my 60 sec of happiness? see!

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~Jacqueline Schiff

yup..so, that's why i like to walk alot...haha...
just kidding..
i'm no longer angry k.. :)


i'm starting to love quotes...dunno why..
they are just so meaningful...smart people, indeed..
they let you think of things that you will never think of at that point of time..
they broaden your perspectives and make your emotion change...
powerful!


i've done my report!!! yes, finally...
submitted today..hope everything turns out fine...
well, i just hope that nothing goes wrong, other than that, i dun really dare to think..

and today, i've played piano again...yeah, after so many months/ years?? i dunno how long in exact, but i really miss playing piano..
did i ever mention that i love running notes and octaves?? haha...
that's why all my past exam pieces are full of running notes and octaves..and that's why i always flunk..
as you know, these pieces are always killers..but well, it's good to play such songs when you are angry, bored, sad or wateva ur feelin is...
singing too..just dun make ur neighbours complain lar...lolz~

well, i personally think that i'm a very ART person...love drawing, designing, singing, playing musical instruments, enjoy my time in any art museum, bla bla bla..
still remember the times in Sec 3 & 4 when all the art students in my class gather together to draw, do batik paintings, learn drawing perspectives that make all of us perspire alot, as we were doing it under hot sun, do graphic designing, posters, class T-shirt -- Hitler with a paint brush on his hand (well, coz my class was made up of history and art students), canvas paintings, go Art Friend together before exams, helping each other with the courseworks...haha.. still can remember i helped yushi to poke a big hole in her piece of acrylic...that's a really tough job..almost burnt our hands...but well, it's enjoyable lar...Tingli helped me hammer the nails into my wooden plank (my coursework)...
those were the days..

But why am i into SCIENCE then?
hmm, i also dunno..since i've already walked so far, i shall continue with this journey ba..

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. ~Twyla Tharp

maybe that's the reason why i love art so much... :)

winnie the pooh

boi bought a cute baby pooh for me yesterday...
i was quite surprised coz i never expect that he will buy it for me..haha.
everytime i pass by these shops, i'll give these pooh bears a pat on their heads..
and maybe because of this, boi thinks that i may like it, so he went to buy..
haha..he said that when i miss him, i can look at this pooh...when i'm angry, i can punch it..but how would i bear to punch it rite?
coz he knew that he can't have much time for me, so this is what he can offer as a "substitute"?? hehe..my siblings say that it looks like boi, and boi said it looks like me...
so now i understand why people always mix up, thinking that i'm his sister, coz we both look like Winnie the Pooh in a way or another!!!
yar, 没身材, as my mum said, that's why it looks like me..well, i'm chubby like pooh cannot arh..
i have no figure like pooh cannot arh...my eyes as small as pooh, also cannot arh..
but i think the eyes, nose and mouth looks really like boi...
oh, the eyebrows look like wen!!??!!?! lolz~
shhh,dun tell her..



this is the second pooh bear he gave me...the first one is the hp pouch that he sew for me..and this is the other one.. =)
thankew boi...


next week gonna go Kbox with boi's family...yesh, with his parents and sister!!!
hmm, and you noe when i'm in Kbox, i got no image one...arrrrggghhhh~
hope i can control myself well...but really very long never sing le..
gals, meet up after exams/ IA for a session k...

today, i'll be at home rushing my report...must finish by today...
coz boy is busy with his roadshow & shooting...
shall not interrupt him..
yanning is having her exams halfway thru, hope she can do really well for her 'A' levels. i know she can..
加油！

The pen that i've mentioned yesterday....interesting rite?



Alex is back today...
his hair is...i-dunno-how-to-describe-but-very-funny type..haha...
they 3 of them are really terrible...
gamble and gamble...
all because of francis lar...
he is a soccer craze..crazy because he is betting on it..
haiz~
well, just hope that they dun blame me for not winning..oopz~

after seeing those beautiful pics on internet, i wanna go Maldive too!!!
but it's really quite ex, coz with the $, i can go other places that are more worthwhile...
well, it really depends on whether you want a relax tour or a see-a-lot-of-things tour...
to me, i want both..haha...
greedy!!
no lar, i've been yearning to go to a place like this, but then now, it's too ex for me to afford lar..
but i seriously love it, especially with all your friends and loved ones..hehe..
too bad boi wun like it, coz he can't swim...
ok, stop dreaming.


back to report... *pout*

another birthday

Happy birthday, Yan Ning!

haha...just celebrated her 18th birthday..
boi and i bought her a shawl and a very interesting pen that looks like a toothpaste..
i'm glad that she likes them..
very full now, coz we ate a lot of stuff..*take a deep breath in*

stupid yanxin is trying to snatch the comp from me...
gotta go bathe now...
sigh~

shall update the photos again...

random thoughts.

before i say anything,

Happy 21st Birthday to Carolyn!!

yup, went to rol's celebration last saturday...
the place was quite difficult to find, but thank to the big advert, i'm able to guess my way.. :)
the food was nice...
the ambience was great too...
oh, rol's wore the dress, i also have one similar...design the same, only different colour and prints..lolz...but i have it with jeans lar..
where was i?
the toilet there got jacuzzi k..
wen, CK and i were quite sua ku, so we took pics of it, with us and without us...haha..
enjoyable night out..

picz!!



Warning!
If you are having BIRTHDAY today, don't read on.


boi asked me a question yesterday...
he said what will i do if he dies...
i told him that i will feel so sad that i'll die with him...
you guys may say that i'm naive, but i really can't live without him...
unless, i have other responsibilities....
even if i dun die, my life will be as well as dead..
maybe i'll live in misery...
maybe i can never face reality again...
maybe...
i dunno..i dun wanna think about it..

a few months ago, i asked him the same question...
he said he will feel very sad, but he will live on... (more realistic)

but it's how i really feel..
haiz..watever..


arghhh...
need to rush my report now...
(>.<)