if he noes how tough NS is den, he wun do dis action...btw, the one on the left is him..beside him is his brother...  

his grandma and him..i like this pic most..coz i love his smile...hardly see dis smile on his face now...(what a pity)  

naughty boy...noe which one is he?? (*hint* white singlet and the dunno-blue-or-green shorts) 

cute cute... 

i am the boss..hahaha..this one looks more like him now.. 

do u believe that dis is alfred?? 

muscles aching

my arms' muscles are aching..
have problem moving my arms..
too long nv exercise le..hehe..juz carry a few things, here ache there ache..
but it is no big deal lar..i'm not 千金小姐 what..

i'm so bored today...
stayed at home and rot...
all i did is to scan photos into my comp and try to upload...
shall post some of them later..hehe..
den can show u guys the cute boy aka alfred...

my sisters are not back yet...sigh~
shall go print my notes first...
supposed to ask yanxin to accompany me to the new library today..
but mama ordered her to stay at home and practise piano, coz her practical exam is coming soon.
so, no more library trip today...

alfred called me twice today in the afternoon..
i tot wat big problem there is....he called juz to chat..*ah bish*
heard a shocking news from him..
but i can't say it...coz alfred said so...*zip my mouth*
i noe i have big mouth..haha..
but when it comes to secret or wad, i can be really tight k..

tmr dun feel like going to school...
one computing lesson at 12.30pm and one maths lesson at 4.30pm..
hmm, all repeated subjects..should i go??
suan le...think i stay at home better..meaning i pon??
alfred is going to hit my head if he sees it..
let me slack for dis week k..*innocent smile*
i noe i will be reprimanded when put on that stupid smile..but who cares??
i like leh..

hope i have a good day tomorrow.
miss my dear alot, but i can't see him tomorrow..
coz he will be busy with his work.
hmm, nvm ba..
i just hope i can stay at home and do my work can le...
if not, i'll run to the nearest starbucks to squart...hahaha

so long nv see my 3 babez (i think it sounded better than F4 *nod nod*) le..
wonder when i can see them??
should hurry before wen starts her school (8/8)
but yu wun be free, unless it is weekend..
eh, our KTV how??
our visit to wen's hse how??
*scratch head*

yeah, yanning has finally come back...
i end here le..
i feel like i'm the youngest sister, though i'm the oldest actually..ahem..

Safe in a crazy world

song by Corrinne May.

I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me

It feels like nothing is for certain
And that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the
Theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you
You craddle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
To believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
To believe in me again


very nice rite? and i think it is rather meaningful...dedicated to my dearest dear, alfred...

arms are tired

did alot of things today..
finally subscribed my broadband..
got lotsa freebies *gian beng face (hokkien)*...like the laptop bag with "singtel" logo on *sacastic smile*, warcraft cd (like got any use to me..more for my sister ba), a poster and RHS vouchers (finally something useful le..)
den the stupid add/ drop thingy, waste of time...
i can't even add my subject..
have to wait for the coordinator to squeeze out a space for me again..
den dun really have my lunch coz i juz grabbed some cakes to prevent gastric..
rushed to mit huiyi to get MY BAG!!! *fascinated* oh, and my book as well..
rushed here and there...
tired...
but the lecturers are more interesting now...
got a korean lecturer, so powerful in English..but really enjoyed in the lect..hehe
btw, it's a SHE k...
den my hands are full of stuff...(the singnet bags, my laptop, my op bag and my own school bag..)
so my friends and i decided to pon the last lecture...for me, i can go home faster and throw my loads. and for my friends, they can go for their chalet at Changi..*envy*
i have to be clumsy while boarding and alighting bus and MRT..
anyway, i've xia suay (hokkien) so many times le..haha..dis is nothing man..
felt so relaxed now..coz no more loads le..

yesterday had BILLY BOMERS with alfred for dinner...
and he got some things for me...his childhood photos and the cd by Corrinne May..
*surprised but angry*
coz i dun want him to waste money..
though i really like the cd v much..
oh, his phone has spoilt...hai~
most prob died of negligence and torment..hehe..
well, dunno what phone he is gonna buy le..
hmm, den we went home..

had been staring at his old photos for the whole night yesterday...
maybe put it as my laptop's wallpaper nx time..haha..
trying to scan in the photos first...
from my speed...think needs a long time..haha..

i'm hungry now...
waiting for my dinner.
tomorrow no school...yippee!!
most prob going national library tmr..to walk walk and see see...
but think have to stay at home and rot..sigh~
well, i want my food now...(starving badly)

first day of school

woke up at about 7am dis morning..
dragged my feet to the bathroom and get myself prepared for school
den, i had my lousy breakfast before i rush off for my train..
i saw people fighting for seats and spaces in the MRT
and of course, i'm one of them..haha..
finally have some "personal space" after the the two ever-crowded stops (Cityhall and Raffles Place)
felt tired as i've not been waking up early since dunno when.

it's a rather free day..
have been queuing up for notes, PRF and lab manuals..
still feel that NTU's system is bad.
attended two lectures just now and now, i'm stucked..
coz i have another lecture at 3.30pm..
so i'm very free now..
rotting in the Lee Wee Nam Library..haha..

later meeting alfred for dinner..
in my mind => Hooray!!! so happy
expression on my face => orh...can't-be-bothered look..
hope he will be happy today.
coz i'm really putting in effort to make him smile more...
well, 2hrs and 42mins more before i can see him...why so long??

ok, got alot of stuff to print and do..
tutorials!!!!
sigh~
nid more time to get myself settled down and organised..
i'm thinking of bringing my laptop everyday to school..
so that i can download all the lecture notes and tutorials..
and so that i dun have to get frustrated with my haywired internet access at home..
hmm...good idea!!

continue to rot...haha..
lalalalalala......

school starting tomorrow..

is alfred coming to pick me up tomorrow??
since he nids to go tuas..
anyway, i hope he will msg me tomorrow and say he will..*hint hint*

i nid to start to pack my bag later...
bag???
i forget to buy my backpack..sigh~
how forgetful i am..
nid to thanx huiyi...
she is helping me to buy the op bag that i think it is very nice (but no guarantee she can get)..
though ppl may think i'll look kiddy with that..
but i think it is very nice lor...
thanx so much man..
well, what bag should i use tomorrow?

nid to prepare money to return jiaquan tmr...
nid to bring my textbook too...
ok, nid to go write down the location for tutorials and the lectures..

i love Corrinne May's voice...
so powerful and clear...
maybe i'll go get her cd..

my sisters are busy today...
can't go library coz my parents are busy with work..
juz finished doing housework..
what should i do now??
watch tv ba..
no, go pack my bag...
at the same time, waiting for alfred's call...hehe..
alright, i nid to go le..

sleepy eyes

i have not slept since last night till now..
had a very bad dinner yesterday nite..
we went for steamboat (天天火锅), and waited for abt 1hr to get place to sit when the person-in-charged says 10mins..
there are so many food on the list, but what they have that day is oni abit..
a horrible dinner, not going back to eat again..
we were both very full..
and i have difficulty sleeping..

stared into space thru the night..
think of many things...
i cried cos i felt suffocated with my life..
i'm very tired, but i can't sleep..
i've made a decision, but have no guts to say it..
i'm v disappointed with myself for not being able to take control of my own life..
i'm v sad with how someone actually look at me..
i'm too tired to think..
i'll end everything eventually..
i believe to everything, there is a season...when there is a start, there will be an end..

juz now went searching for hair salon for my sister..
coz she is very fussy, want cheap and good haircut...
how is that possible??
watever it is, i managed to force her into one..
and i just left her there and walked back alone...
hope she noes how to come home..
duh..

tomorrow is my last day of holiday..
sigh~~~~
school starting very very soon..
well, at least i'm back to my routined normal life ba...
oh, national library has opened...
hmm, gonna go there tomorrow, hopefully with yanxin..
it will be my potential slacking and enjoying air-con studying place.
i nid conducive environment to study well, to make myself enjoy the boring loads more.

i feel sick suddenly.
pre-school-reopen sickness??
eat too full yesterday??
lack of sleep??
so many possibilities..
but i'm feeling sick...sick of life, sick mentally and physically..
bla bla bla..

enjoy ur last day of holiday...if u were like me...haha.. ;P

i nid to get settled down..

juz realised that i only have 3 more days to school reopen..arghhh..
i have not finished my revision..or should i say, i have not start yet?? *oopz*
will i be able to do at least 2 chapters 1st, so that i will have lesser work when school starts?hmm..
btw, thanx jiaquan for helping me to buy the lab coat in advance, coz it will be more difficult if i buy when school starts...things like out-of-stock (dreaded) may happen..well, just to play safe..
and thanx huiyi for informing me that the add/ drop period is dis saturday, 10am.
so, i'll have to meet up with huiyi and him on the first day of school..oh, jeffrey as well...
ok, looks like i am running out of time..

tomorrow have to meet alfred again...
i'll have to go search for goods for his work..
got any recommendation where i can get cheap goods (things like colour pencils, pencil cases, etc. those very cheap ones, but look presentable.)??
hope it will be a fruitful trip.

juz now helped my parents carry goods again. looks like i'm gonna have big muscles soon..haha..well, juz take it as a form of exercise ba. =)
no doubt, i slipped away and came back home to slack..hehe..such a terrible worker, like me. =P

really have to get settled down le..but not now yet..dis sat?? sunday??
haha...excuses..trying to delay..
MONDAY LAR....ok, set...

oh, yanning is having her piano ensemble concert dis fri..which is tomorrow!!!
i'm not going though, coz i will be busy..
yanxin and her friends will be there to support her..
wish her all the best!!
also, hope that her ticket sale is good..

to those interested (though quite last minute) :

VJC Piano Ensemble Concert
date: 22 jul 2005 (fri)
time: 7.30pm
ticket price: $8 (free seating)
venue: VJC Performance Theatre

remark: Eunice Olsen will be there as a guest performer..

phew~

he finally called!!!
he booked out late...
stupid me...worried for nothing...haha

i'm weird..
i can be subconscious and yet daydreaming...
had a weird "daydream" at abt 5am dis morn and slept unknowingly after tt.
"dreamt" of someone...
and the first feeling is fear...
i dunno why?
but i hope it will always remain as a "dream"..

weird mind...haha..
well, i've waited for dis boy boy to come online..
he asked me to wait
and yet, till now,
he is nowhere to be seen...
What The Hell (Wong Teck Huang, get it?? hehe...i'm revealing ur secret to the world..)
where are you??

i'm hungry now..
not gonna wait in vain..
i nid to go for my "yummy" dinner le..haha..
ok, before that
i have to wake my sis up...
why always me???

where is alfred???

i've told him to message me once he got home and i thought he is supposed to book out by now??
but he nv reply me!!!!
and his handphone is in off mode.
where is he??
dun tell me he has to stay in suddenly,which is very rare coz it has never happened before...
hai~

just helped my mum do some packing and stuff.
and now, i think they nid my help..
but i juz came back home without telling them...
coz i'm worried about fred..
where is he??

i hope he will msg me as soon as he saw his msg..as soon as he on his phone...
i'm worried...

my cute boy boy..

yesterday went to many places with alfred.
went orchard...den bugis...den his house...den tampines.
he was very abnormal yesterday, coz he is trying to act cute..can't really stand him.
also, he showed me his childhood photos...a very naughty boy indeed...nv sit still..haha..but really very cute.
i told him that he had nv changed at all.
till now, still so playful...naughty boy...
well, he always says i'm naughty gal..haha..ok, so tt's y we can stand each other.
oh, he promised to give me one of his cute photos... ;p
and his famous sayings, "you muz guai1 guai1 when i'm not around arh..." coz he always says i dunno how to take care of myself, but he is worse lor..
ok, enough of that..

today is totally sian...
coz i'll be rotting at home..hmm...
and alfred will be very busy today..so can't disturb him...

school is starting soon...school is starting soon!!!! hav to say it again and again...
scared i'll forget
scared i'll panic once i forget to remind myself..

learnt a lesson again:
open my heart to a greater extent..
do not let small little things affect your mood..
to be able to let go is a step nearer to become a better person..

i want to give a change to my character...(though i've changed alot, but tt's not enuf)
restructure my temper...hehe..
well, see how much i can do...i promise i will do it.. =)

alfred noes that when it comes to the word "promise", it means we hav to achieve it no matter what..
he can do it, so can i...
and it makes dis word holds a stronger weightage now than before...

what should i do today??
boring day...sigh~
my cute boy boy hasn't booked out yet...
and he is busy today..
hmmm

busy busy busy..

yesterday was supposed to be a day where i can slack at home and rot..but, there is dis sudden call from yu...tt i must rushed to NTU..so, being puzzled and awkward, i went to NTU to see what on earth is going on with rol...well, the rest of the story i dun hav to say le...coz it is a long process...but, it shows how much we cared for each other...haha..but i find myself abit silly..travel all the way to NTU without knowing exactly what is going on..hmm, nvm lar...yu has explained everything along the way..so got a rough catch what is happening..haha..well, a good dinner (or is it supper??)..but hav to rush home and do my explanation, coz i rush out without telling my parents the reason...ok lar, everything should be in place by now...

later meeting alfred....going orchard to buy shoes and den go for haircut...den meet ppl...well, busy day...not in the mood to talk about alfred now...though actually i have alot of things to say about him...nvm...hope he has reached home le..coz he nv msged me to tell me he has reached home or wad...wateva the case is...there is some communication problem between us..and i'm sick of saying...yar..

ok, dad called and ask me to do work le...got to go now...

busy day...busy..busy... =\

feelings??

yar, my feelings...i can't find a word to describe my feelings now. i miss fred so much!! there is no words that can describe the intensity in me...haha..

i can't wait to see him tomorrow...we gonna have our haircut together...hehe..hope everything will turn out to be fine..haha..

school is starting soon!!! have been telling myself almost everyday..haha..and of course, that is when my stress level starts to increase..can teach me how to curb dis fear? can't picture it as a beautiful scene in my mind..haha..why huh? whatever the reason is, i wish i can sail through dis journey smoothly...

Mood: happy, anticipating and worried...

mixed, mixed....all mixed...feeling terrible..

oh, i still nid to go apply my concession soon...shall do it later...if not, i'll drag till dunno when..now feeling so hungry..though i ate my breakfast, my stomach isn't satisfied..my mum wants me to vacuum the whole house today, ALONE!! sigh~ feel abit lazy to do all these..hmm, at least after i gained my energy first ba..ok, i'm running out of ideas to write le..not thinkin clearly oso..haha..dunno why..end here ba..

thirteen weeks will pass very fast..and dec hols will come again..haha..but meanwhile, i will need to study first...*ah choooo*...oh no, dusty dusty...or izit my immune system is going down slope??

legs are tired...but enjoy shopping with my sisters..

went orchard with my sis to buy heels for her concert..though it looks quite weird on her, but at least the shoes look nice ba..haha..shall ask alfred for some comments next time..den on our way home, i saw Denise Lim..he is in air force now...going NUS nx yr..never really tok much coz he has to alight a few stops later...which is actually one stop before mine..haha..

miss alfred so much though i just saw him yesterday..tokkin about yesterday, it is a very very bad day...so many things can't accomplished and we were so fed up..and somehow we quarrelled. i made him feel so sad..and when i reached home, i got scolded by my mum, for wat reason, i not very sure oso..and we never enjoyed the day at all..

miss alfred so much today..have not have time to tok to him for so long..really wanna find a day to tok to him, about anything oso can...but time is a crucial factor..it seems like he is very busy with his work, so busy that we hardly have time to even tok to each other for long..coz he is tired..and school is starting soon, i dun think i have time for him too...sigh~ what should i do?

well, all i can do is to wait...wait for my birthday??haha..or wait for dec hols.......it's a long long way to go..nvm lar, must learn to understand him..i will...i promised..

and my dear friends, when can we meet again before school starts??nx fri nite??nx sat??well, i'll go ask again..hehe..must see if yu can stay overnite at wen's house, and if wen can let us stay...so many things to do..lalala..ok, end here ba..i'm still quite sad over wat happens yesterday..nid time to recover...

*sob sob*

going pinic tomorrow...

i'm really tired today...start helping my dad at about 9am and juz ended my work..phew..eyes closing..haha..anyway, i seems to enjoy my work more and more..coz i actually dun really nid to do anything unless my dad or mum wanted me to..so i can sit down there and do my own work. Business usually looks dry and untouchable to me, but not now anymore..it becomes more and more fun!! coz it requires lotsa thinking..hehe..and i like to think alot, so somehow quite enjoy in it..but of course, obstacles are sure to be around..to overcome them is a greater achievement..haha..

tmr i can finally go out with alfred for the whole day..haha..he is preparing sandwiches and drinks...and me?? nothing..i wanted to bring some stuff, but he insisted on bringing and i just go there to relax..oh dear, i'm feeling uneasy when i'm not involved in the organising part..hmm..dunno about him lar..i think it will be an enjoyable one, but provided it doesn't rain, you see..

oh, i've prepared for school reopen le..feeling quite relaxed and of course, waiting for it to start...though not anticipating it..haha..timetable also done le...oni left with that no vancacy subject..nid to call up the school again..leave it till school reopen..can't possibly do anything at this moment also..

as for my hair, i think i will not cut it at the present moment...i want it to be long...haha..so long that i can't stand it le, den i will think of cutting it short..hehe..still prefer short hair, coz i think my neck will have a lesser burden..also, dry faster...easy to keep..but, i nid to keep my hair long, coz i promised myself that i will keep until it reached a desired length..and long hair is easier to style...ok, whatever...stop talking about my hair..so bo liao..

waiting for alfred's message, esp. now when he is in camp for duty...he is almost unreachable..nvm, he will call me when he is free and saw his msgs..haha..ok, watch show now..