sob sob....am i suffering from depression??or am i merely too emotional??

i suddenly feel very sad..dunno y..

my dad is going overseas again soon..very worried abt him always..coz no one take care of him when he is overseas.very scared...am i worrying too much??

nx, i scolded alfred in front of the public last week..i noe he is really very sad and disappointed..i dunno y i suddenly scold him till so jialat..when i realised i'm wrong, i couldn't find him anymore..at that moment, i was very scared..i tot he had left me and not returning..but, i was wrong..he waited for me in the mrt station..he nv leave me..he stood there, waiting patiently..and when he saw me, he was so happy..he nv even scold me or angry with me..he oni hug me and say "nvm..dun do that again..it is very hurting."..
i asked him,"y u still wait for me when u dun even noe if i will return anot?"
he replied, "i noe u will return.."
he has nv given up hope, always so patient wif me..tolerating my nonsense again and again..well,he is really a precious gift for me...

and den...there are so much things cramped inside me...gonna burst sooon...y muz i always cause so much trouble to ppl out there..always hurt ppl who are close to me..y?? i'm sure many ppl have experienced dis from me...hai~ what have happened to me??
i wanna change...but how?

y can't i be like others? y muz i keep every unhappiness to myself and end up bursting out and make everyone around me so shocked and pissed?i'm a real failure lor..dun even noe how to be a proper someone..please scold me to wake me up....thankew!!